Welcome to the generation that brushes domestic violence off with a simple ‘Tumezoea’

For the past few weeks, the number of domestic violence cases has been on the rise. We wake up to new cases every day and this should get us asking questions. When did the rains start beating us to a point we no longer make any effort to shelter ourselves from it? Just recently, in my hood - Komayole - my neighbours and I were basking in the early morning sun when we heard screams from a house nearby.

I shot from my seat towards the house to find out what was happening only to find myself alone. The rest of my neighbours remained seated as if nothing was going on. One even quipped, “tumezoea”. To say I was in shock will be an understatement.

Let’s just say for some minutes, the rythm of my heartbeat changed from “thup thup thup” to “thuthup thuthup thuthup!” What has become of a society where domestic violence has become the order of the day? We are losing mothers, fathers and even children and all we can say is, “tumezoea.”

This got me talking to a few friends and this is what I gathered. From men, I gathered that some women talk too much, pushing their men to the edge.

According to women, some men are nonperformers, so they need a little ‘wake-up call’ to be the men they ought to be. So my question is; Did these people wake up one morning to find themselves in such situations or were they part of the situations from the word go? If a man is a nonperformer, there is no way you can fail to see that.

My fellow single women, God gave us a sixth sense that smells red flags from miles away. If you think your man has the tiniest ounce of irresponsibility, you have all the time to hit the road and walk away. You do not have to get married to this person with the hopes of changing him with time. That would be your greatest undoing.

Do not create room for kicks and blows, you are not Mike Tyson neither are you Mayweather. Stop hitting your men hoping they will change. Chances are, the only thing that will change is your residence. You do not want to wake up behind prison walls, do you?

Single men, this goes to those of you who sleep and wake up thinking they are Goliath. Women are not punching bags neither are they footballs! I was shocked that some of you even bite your women during a fight! If you feel like biting things apart from food, relocate to the West and find anything to bite, like glass or something.

Chances are, you will enter the Guinness Book of World Records. Just don’t bite us, we are not that nutritious. You say we talk too much, did you wake up one morning to find us competing with parrots? If you can’t stand our nagging, walk away and go find yourself a wife who will just nod and smile. Do not marry someone hoping to trim her ‘beak’ as years go by.

Married people, learn how to control your emotions, know when to talk and how to do it. Marriage is a holy matrimony that deserves some respect - not a battle ground with all kinds of weapons. The current wave of domestic violence has made me have some few resolutions. I will never argue with a man behind locked doors.

My friend, by the time you reach for the keys, the slap that will land on your cheek shall have travelled from him at the speed of 200kmph. I have also resolved never to push a man to the edge if we are in a room higher than first floor. Those people go down the staircase like a flash! As you watch your steps running away, they leap like energised kangaroos! In fact, they will get to ground floor before you without you seeing them overtake you.

Finally, I have resolved to make use of the powerful lungs my Mama gave me. I will not ‘vibrate’ when abused or when I see someone else being abused. I will scream louder than a fire alarm. I will speak up without fear or favour. I refuse to sit back and get used to domestic violence. If possible, shall we all die of old age in our sleep? Shall we?

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