How to spot that office ‘fisi’ : Evewoman - The Standard

Girl Talk

How to spot that office ‘fisi’

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  • Every office has ‘hyenas’. These are men who flirt unashamedly with female colleagues and looking for any slight chance to pounce on their prey.
  • Like in the jungle, the hyenas use different tactics.

When hunting, some hyenas are aggressive and lethal, others like snakes are slow, calculating and effective, others are cunning like a hare while others are harmless like doves but when given a chance, they strike like lightening.

Having been in a workplace environment for years, I have come to study all types of hyenas and know their hunting tactics. But like I will illustrate, if you are not strategic as a hunted prey, you will fall into their traps and before you realise it, you are the laughing stock in the gents.

Marcus the manner less flirt: Marcus is that philandering character that flirts with every woman in the office. This randy dude hits on everything in a skirt from the naïve cleaners to the pretty receptionist and the happily married mamas like Maureen. Marcus, married and a father of many is so shameless and uncouth; on that day you have slayed it with that LBD he will pass by your desk and make a snide comment: “Hey beautiful, you are killing us, si we go somewhere you quench my thirst...” And after sleeping with you, he will declare to all other hyenas his conquest. This is one guy to keep off, he can mess your thriving career.

Sam the smooth operator: My oh my! Sam is one to avoid like a plague. He is so sly, he can sweet talk a nun to forget her vows to the church and abandon the convent in a huff. If you see him, flee.

George the gorgeous gigolo: Damn George! George is every woman’s fantasy and temptation. He is so fly, brilliant and suave. He is that guy who when making a Power Point presentation captures your mind and hormones by the time he is done, you are in a fantasy world burning with passion. All women have a crush on him. If you are guilty as charged, repent... repent!

Irungu the irritating one: This is that guy who ‘likes you to the moon and back’ but your blood imemkataa kabisaa! He has no class, no charm and makes you sick. Just ignore him.

Nick the nice one: Ohhh Nick, such a loyal friend! He’s the guy who always has your back. He emails you stuff that is important and needs your urgent attention, books for you a seat at the boardroom and even brings you coffee from the dispenser. Pretend to like him, you need him as an ally.

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Harry, the holier than thou: Harry is the kind of guy who hides behind salvation, but when in a dark alley with a woman, the hyena in him bursts forth. Harry plays his cards so well, very few colleagues know his true colours. Be alert when dealing with him, because everybody assumes he is so harmless, if you say anything contrary, colleagues will think you are the one trying to seduce him.

The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a pre-school girl. She shares her experience of juggling between career, family and social life.

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