This is what campo folks really do

I have this five things to bring into your attention. Get educated.

House parties are the best when we want to unwind. After the reggae, we play the blues than drink the booze. Occasionally, we can smoke weed in shisha and nurse a headache then be okay. Or get drugged, usually brewed weed mixed with alcohol. We end up too high to keep our clothes on. Too high to just kiss. So we smash without protection, lose our phones and wallets, fight and lose a tooth when we are lucky. We know of ladies who were drugged then raped in a house party. Thing is, go to house-parties where you know most of the persons. Or carry a ‘CU’ friend to watch over you.

Mkubwa sio mwenzako dude. If you and the lecturer are eying the same babe, drop out of the race. Ask the fellows who are graduating. Missing marks are a pain in the ass. Especially when the girl who caused it is no longer spooning you. It’s not that serious. You remember how King David orchestrated the death of his point man so that he may personalise the soldier’s wife? Well, save yourself from a supplementary exam, missing marks and unwarranted hatred.

Co-habiting on the first days is fantastic. You folks live like a married couple. Difference is, you aren’t married. You might fornicate every night, cook him a meal he appreciates or ‘sponsor’ her rent, food and life in campus. But one thing is always amiss; too much stress. The energy you put into this come we stay thingy is better diverted into academics. There is too much pressure in getting married before you are ready.

Counsel is to just date. And do what people who date do save for moving in. You might end up babysitting a 20 year old man. Or sponsor a lassie who’ll leave you for a better man, soon.

GAMBLING, or betting as we folks fondly call it, is amazing. There’s money to be made by just analysing the odds, placing the bet and waiting for your analysis to ‘come through’ in form of an M-PESA text. Wait up. Do you know this thing is addictive? That there’ll be a sneaky voice in your head telling you to place just one more bet. That the bet might land you to the jackpot. The result is having you hooked to a habit you can’t finance translating to a perennially broke comrade always in debt.

Thirsty? Not with a girl who is dating already because that is where calamity kisses you. We campo guys have tons of energy. And the amount we put into love is awfully terrifying. Just this year and last year, a number of comrades were buried just because they couldn’t drink from an unclaimed well. I understand that the thirst is real my friend, nonetheless, avoid a red eye, broken ribs are a sad reputation by tapping the single babes.