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Dear men, please be the men our fathers were

My Man

Just like kuku za grade, our generation has wanaume wa grade. These are the kind of men who succumb to the least of pressure unlike our forefathers who were immune to any kind of pressure. You forget to text them back because of your busy schedule and the next minute, they have gone nil by mouth for over a week! You end up trying to persuade them to talk to you as if they are children!

I must say these men are mistaking us for their mothers. We do not get married to you so that we can teach you what is right and what is not. That topic in the life syllabus should be covered by your parents, ours is to mark and give remarks.

Research show drivers are most obnoxious on Mondays. Do you agree??

Our men have refused to man up and instead compete with our children for attention. They walk out during an argument and disappear till the next day claiming they are stressed and need some time out. Some of them even have the guts to cry when asked where they spent the night. If you have the guts to spend the night out, kindly use the same guts to explain where you were, even if it's a lie! Mwanaume ni kujichocha!

I know of one who threatens his wife with suicide every time they disagree. He starts throwing tantrums and tweets words like 'Goodbye world' and 'There is life after death'. What he doesn't understand is that there is no life after death for those who commit suicide. You will burn in hell beyond recognition. Who was to recognise you anyway?

The other day, my friend told her husband about a man who had been stalking her on phone wanting to have a relationship with her. They both agreed that the next time the man called, she would give her husband the phone to warn him never to call again. That time came and when the husband received the call, all he said was, "Hallo, mwenye simu ametoka kidogo, call after five minutes."

That was the highest level of weakness in a man! You are supposed to pick the call and roar like a lion to protect your woman! These men should realise already that women detest men who carry some feminine traits. We are tired of men who take forever in the shower and cringe at the slightest disorganisation in the house!

Some of these men are so talented in twisting issues. When they do something wrong, they twist it the other way round in an argument. In the end, you end up apologising for asking your husband why he spent the night out. At one point in life, this good-for-nothing man managed to convince me that he was suffering from a condition that made him want to spend the night in his car and not his room.

Unfortunately, it did not hit me that he could spend the night in his car within his compound, he kept spending the nights 'in his car' but outside his home! I ended up apologizing a zillion times through both actions and words for accusing him of cheating. Google is the last place to seek help because it assured me that there was such a condition going further to explain to me how to handle such people. I wish I could take back all the presents I bought to say sorry.

Then there is this group of men that does not know that men should be taking charge. They say yes to every suggestion that you make in the house whether good or bad. Women love men who can challenge them, not men who feel challenged even before they are challenged. You show up in the house with a large sum of money and they will believe any story that you give them, even if you say that you have picked it outside your gate!

 

If you cannot handle a woman's anger, at least don't show it to the whole world by keeping off your house when she is on rampage, stay there and be on rampage too or enjoy the scene. Sometimes, when we are angry and yell, all we want is some attention. When we open the door for you in the wee hours of the night and say "Rudi pahali umetoka", we do not mean it. So don't make an about turn and go back to wherever you had been.

Be the men our fathers were - firm and confident even when doing something wrong

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