How to talk to your teen about puberty

Puberty is one of the most theatrical phases in life, the evolution from babyhood to adulthood. Thirteen isn’t the miraculous age when a child suddenly transforms into a young adult. Puberty can begin as early as age 8 or as late as 15. Regardless of when a child enters puberty, the changes they undergo affect their social interactions and psychological outlook.

When to speak

Start the talk early enough. More than ever before, kids are now exposed to so much information at a very early age. Talk about menstruation with the girls before they get their periods. The sight and location of blood can be worrisome if they are oblivious of what's happening.

Most girls get their first period when they're 12 or 13 years old, about 2 or 2½ years after puberty begin. Boys begin going through puberty a little later than girls, around age 10 or 11. Experts recommend discussing puberty with children starting at age 8 or 9 - or even as early as 5 or 6, depending on the curiosity and the maturity level of the child.

What about

Relationship, peer pressure and good decisions, gender identity, pregnancy and reproduction, STIs and birth control, sex and sexuality, personal safety, social media, sexting, alcohol and drugs and physical appearance are just but some of the common divisive issues that need discussion.

Physical development - body changes Emotional and social development: emotional intelligence, self-management, social awareness and peer relationships. Stress management skills, teen bullying. Cognitive development where teens strengthen their advanced reasoning skills, develop abstract reasoning skills and enlarge their capacity to think about thinking. Spirituality and religion- The connection to a reality greater than oneself including the sacred experience of religious awe and reverence coupled with a set of common beliefs and practices shared by a group.

 

Keeping a cool head on a hot topic is the How!

Dad, don’t preach! Phrases like “But you’re only 15!” are not helpful. Teens are looking for someone to listen and to give accurate information about sex, not deliver sermons or make them feel guilty or ashamed.

Get your tranquillity on: When they bring up sex, be calm and reasonable, and no matter what the situation. Anger, surprise, and embarrassment are not proper responses, even if your teen is trying to provoke you.

Tone is everything: Teens may have fears that their sexual thoughts and urges are unnatural or make them freak, reassurance is key.

Different is normal, it’s normal for breasts, penises, nipples, testicles, and clitorises to come in many different shapes, sizes, and colours. Menstruation, sexual thoughts and feelings, wet dreams, orgasms during sleep, and masturbation are normal, too.

Build up self-esteem and confidence by complimenting, encouraging realistic goals, taking their problems seriously, allowing them make their own decisions, giving them chores and enforcing rules in private.

Parents have to play a greater role in speaking to teens about puberty without delegating this responsibility exclusively to teachers or mentors. Well, whichever way you look at it, other than dying, I think puberty is just as rough as it gets.