What to do when crazy midlife crisis hits your man

Signs of a man in midlife crisis

His penchant for blossoming bombshells is not the only thing you have to worry about either. A man who is experiencing midlife crisis is apt to make dramatic changes in his personal style or appearance. In an effort to recapture his dwindling youth, he might start dressing like a teenager.

We are talking about sagging trousers, ripped jeans, t-shirts emblazoned with boyish literature, cap tilted at a rakish angle, singlets perhaps to show off muscles, boots and a snapback bag sloped sideways for maximum effect.

His choice of jewelery will no longer be limited to a watch and his wedding ring. He will start rocking chunky rings and lots of gold chains on his hairy chest. In addition to that, do not be surprised if he starts spending more time in front of the mirror. He will become more conscious of his appearance and start using products like hair dyes to tackle those pesky gray hairs. He might also become obsessed with working out.

Another prime symptom of a midlife crisis is an impulse to spend money on extravagant man toys like top of the range motorbikes and sports cars. These actions are indicative of your man’s sudden desire to live life to its fullest. He will become the embodiment of ‘YOLO’ (you only live once). He will do whatever it takes to make up for all the things he let slip by in his youth.

He might make rash decisions like quitting his job, getting a tattoo or going on a vacation to a place he has always dreamed of. Rather than acting like a middle-aged man with responsibilities, he will revert back to being like a teenager without a care in the world.

Even seemingly accomplished men are not spared from the depressing transition of a midlife crisis. They start to wonder if that is all there is to life. “In Psychology, midlife crisis unfolds when grown men who have now become economically empowered suddenly acquire the feeling that they missed out on some stage of recreational behavior and hence regress so as to fish out and maximize on the benefits of that stage.

This explains those lumbering men who selectively keep the company of teenage beauties considered recreational trophies symbolic of what they may have missed out on in their youthful prime”, Ouko explains.

HandlING the transition

There are other men who deal with a midlife crisis by falling into destructive behaviors like alcohol or drug abuse, gambling or porn. A midlife crisis is not the worst thing in the world. Most women are usually at a loss on what to do when their men start exhibiting signs of a midlife crisis. While things like affairs and drug and alcohol abuse can be hard to get through, the other stuff can be easily weathered. There is nothing inherently wrong with your man wanting to cut down a few pounds or purchase a new car (as long as he is not running you into debts).

Women's Role

Ken Ouko, a sociologist offers some advice on how to handle this transition. “The women in the lives of men experiencing midlife transition can best support them by simply never prickling their consciences about their newly acquired age status.

Women possess the capacity to buoy or deflate men in equal proportion. A sister, a girlfriend or a female colleague all wield the ability to shore up or deconstruct a man’s ego. At their elemental best, such women ought to use their famed early maturity to help these men navigate through the forties,” he says.

You are advised not to overreact. You won’t achieve anything by berating him. Instead try joining him in his new-found passions once in a while. Go shopping with him. Ride along on his motorbike and take an impromptu vacation with him. Encourage him take up healthy pursuits like running a marathon or learning a new hobby, it is advised.

It is going to be tough to watch and put up with your husband’s child-like behavior but the good news is that midlife angst generally doesn’t last. How long it will last ultimately depends on your man.

If he is well equipped to deal with the depression and anxiety, his midlife crisis won’t last long and he will be less likely to make drastic changes or fall into destructive habits. But ultimately, all men wake up one day, own their mistakes and make positive changes in their lives as responsible middle-aged men.