Warning Ladies: Don’t waste time on these men when dating

Unluckily, relationships don’t come with an option of a sneak peek into the future. When you get involved with someone new, all you can do is pray that he won’t turn out to be a colossal jerk or a philandering scumbag, or worse, an abuser.

However, if you have been in the dating scene for a while, you may start catching on to some behavior that gives you an inkling of whether a relationship is viable.

I have dated my fair share of jerks and emerged wiser and better equipped to distinguish between flaws and totally unacceptable behaviors. I have compiled a list of a few red flags you should look out for when dating:

1. He is rude to service workers

I once watched in horror as my date harangued a bartender because she apparently had poured too little wine into his glass. He gave her a tongue-lashing saying that the glass was not equal in volume to the one he had drunk before.

The fracas drew the attention of the bar’s DJ who offered to pay for that glass of wine. I was mortified! I made an excuse to leave and never saw him again.

People who are rude to waiters or any service workers are not the kind of people you want for a long-term relationship. They have a mean streak. If he can be mean and rude to waiters, he can be rude and mean to you as well.

2. The relationship is lopsided

You are the one who initiates communication all the time. You are the one who arranges dates. You are the only one pulling the weight in the relationship. You feel like you are the only one really present in the relationship. He doesn’t do anything to contribute to the relationship’s success.

If your partner doesn’t seem all that invested or interested in the relationship, that’s a huge red flag that it is time to cut your losses and move on.

3. He is possessive and controlling

If a guy, especially one that you have just started dating, tries to control every aspect of your life, it may indicate a bigger problem in future. A possessive person often expresses extreme jealousy and may try to alienate you from other people.

A possessive and controlling person may constantly accuse you of being unfaithful and act suspicious over little things. Such a relationship is unhealthy and you should walk away as soon as you spot the signs.

4. He never apologizes for bad behavior

If he never apologizes, it means he thinks he is never wrong and therefore everything is your fault. You will have a hard time getting him to admit to even the smallest wrongdoing. This reluctance to apologize may be due to pride or in some cases, you could be dealing with a narcissist. Either way, run for the hills!

5. He lies

It starts with white lies and exaggerated truths until he starts lying on a constant basis over the stupidest of things. There can’t be a relationship without trust. Period! You will start questioning everything he tells you and that is no way to build a relationship.

6. He is a sluggard

He lives with his mother and has not held down a job for a while. His room is an unholy mess. He lacks ambition and has no clear direction in his life. He is a total failure. Leave him! You cannot change him. A slacker boyfriend soon becomes a slacker husband and a slacker father.

Unless you get some kind of bizarre satisfaction from taking care of him and cleaning after him, then he is not the man for you, or anyone for that matter. He needs to get his act together!