It's time we revised the marriage vows : Evewoman - The Standard
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It's time we revised the marriage vows

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Some things that our lives revolve around should be revised if at all our lives still need to revolve around them.

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For instance, is there anyone willing to come forward and edit the marriage vows? Is someone willing to deliver us from the bottomless pits we throw ourselves into in the name of committing to marriage vows? When you tell us to swear 'Till death do us part' would you please elaborate on the manner in which this death might come? Natural, planned, accident, suicide or what?

I Beryl Itindi daughter of the great chief David Itindi cannot and will not sit in a life threatening marriage waiting for the death to do us part. Okay, I lied, my father was not a chief, but that is a non-issue, what I am trying to say is that no one should be subjected to an early reunion with their ancestors all in the name of committing to vows which can as well be changed. Or better still, must we have those real vows in this era where real human beings are scarce?

Why would you stay in a relationship where you are more of a drum than a spouse? Even donkeys get fed up of being hit at some point and fight for their lives by equally releasing life threatening kicks to their bullies. Or better still, just refuse to walk or carry any load. I cannot be bullied in primary and high school and then find even more experienced bullies in the marriage institution.

 Nothing justifies hitting your spouse, not even if he or she is cheating on you. Who said cheating is corrected by hitting? Where is it written that a loud mouth is silenced by hitting? Okay, it could be silenced by hitting but it depends with the rod you are using to hit it with. If it is your God given rod, then go yee and hitteth your wifeth, but if it is a rod that you have picked from somewhere along the road from your drinking spree, hitteth your wifeth at your own risketh.

But then again sometimes some women are so engulfed in their love imagination that when they get hit, they stay put and even apologize for being hit! It all starts with a single warning from your spouse, "Ukirudia nitakupiga". Then you laugh about it thinking of how funny it is. What's so funny with being told you will be hit?

The next time the warning graduates into a slap and before you know it, someone is raining blows and kicks on you and woe unto you if the person decided to use weapons. My friend, you will die in the hands of your loved one in the name of respecting your marriage vows. I have seen friends who stay put in an abusive marriage claiming they do not want to go against their vows, these are the same people who end up becoming part of the domestic violence statistics.

Whoever drafted these marriage vows should go back to the drawing board and adjust them. When you say 'To love and to hold for better, for worse', kindly elaborate this 'worse' you are making us mention. Being hit to us is not just worse but worst.

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So do you want to tell me to love and hold my spouse even when he or she threatens to kill me? If my spouse hold a knife above my beloved chest should I look them in the eye and shout "Baby I love you" as I try to hold them close to me? The marriage institution is no longer the same as those days when those vows were drafted, it has changed and unfortunately, it has changed for the worse. The vows should change too so that they are at par.

If not, spare me the vows the day I will walk down the aisle otherwise I will walk down the aisle not with my bouquet in my hand but by personalized vows written and printed in a bold font.

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