I keep falling for married men how do I stop?

I keep falling for married men how do I stop?

Dear Coleen,

I keep having affairs with married men and don’t know how to stop.

Four years ago, when I was 22, my boyfriend left me for one of my best friends. We’d been together for three years and I thought we were going to get married. I was heartbroken.

Now I find it hard to trust men. I go for those who aren’t available, probably because I know it won’t get serious and they can’t hurt me.

My first relationship after my boyfriend left me was with my boss, who had a girlfriend and a baby. I know it was wrong but I couldn’t help feeling flattered and we had a four-month fling before I ended it because I felt guilty about his kid.

Since then, I’ve been out with three men who are either married or in long-term relationships.

The pattern is always the same. They chase me, which I love, we start a passionate relationship, then I get cold feet and end it.

I recently got asked out by a lovely, single guy but I said no and I’m not sure why. I want to stop this destructive behavior but I don’t know how.

Coleen says.

I think you’re just terrified of being hurt again but because of that you’ve turned into a person who hurts others.

Think how your best friend made you feel. If you get found out you’ll be putting other women through that same devastating pain.

If your friends or family find out you also run the risk of alienating them. You need to stop thinking every guy out there is going to hurt you.

And if you do get hurt you’ve survived it once and will again. But it probably won’t happen again.

And if you’re not careful, you’re going to end up lonely and bitter. So nip this behavior in the bud right now.