Am still in love with my cheating ex.. should I give him another chance?
Four months ago my boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue.
We weren’t living together although we’d been going out together for two and a half years.
He swore there wasn’t anybody else, but I found out through mutual friends he’d been seeing a girl at work for months.
I was heartbroken and didn’t hear anything from him until a couple of weeks ago when he turned up at my house one evening.
He was in a terrible state, crying and saying he’d made a huge mistake.
He’s suffered from depression in the past and is a bit troubled, if I’m honest.
He admitted he’s run up debt because he’s been drinking to try to lift his mood.
He said that going off with this girl was a stupid mistake – a form of running away from all his problems.
He seemed so upset and down, but when I told a couple of my friends what happened they all thought I was mad to even consider taking him back.
But they don’t understand what he’s like. I love him so much but would I be crazy to give him another chance?
Taking away from the fact he’s cheated on you and lied to you for months, he’s still got other problems.
He’s got emotional problems and he’s got drinking problems.
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Before you take him back, you need to tell him he has to prove to you that he’s dealing with all of these.
Don’t become an emotional crutch for him because he needs to deal with this on his own. Think of it as tough love.
Sometimes you have to leave people to it so they can sort themselves out.
Also, ask yourself whether you see your future with somebody who spends all your money, cheats on you and runs away at the first sign of trouble?
I’ll be brutally honest – he needs to get professional help.
You can’t help him because you’re emotionally involved with him. It’s like the job I do now.
As an agony aunt I can advise people, because I’m not emotionally attached.
I can look at people’s problems logically, but with my own friends and family I’m too involved to be level-headed and logical because they’re all close to me.
I think your friends are probably the same in this situation – they’re just being logical. I’m not saying don’t take him back ever.
What I’m saying is he needs to face his problems and prove to you he’s a changed man before you even consider giving the relationship another go.
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