Evewoman : My wife wants to take our son to live abroad with her online 'lover'
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My wife wants to take our son to live abroad with her online 'lover'

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Dear Coleen

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My wife admitted to me that she’d been having an ’online affair’ with a man in Canada and she is planning to move there to be with him.

However, this affair is complicated because we have a four-year-old son and she also wants to take him to live in Canada with this guy, who she’s never even met.

I love my son and I’m a good dad. My wife even says I’m a great father and I want what’s best for him.

All I know about her ‘lover’ is that he’s a businessman in his mid-30s (I’m 31). I don’t think money is an issue for her as we’ve never struggled financially.

However, I think she’s too consumed with the passion of this affair to see things clearly and hasn’t thought properly about the reality of living with him.

What about when the high fades and they’re living day-to-day life together? How will she take to normal stuff like washing his dirty underwear and putting up with his bad habits?

Our relationship has been good – no fiery arguments or any real worries – so this behaviour seems totally out of the ordinary. There was no situation to spark off the affair.

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I’ve now told her I want a divorce but she’s having none of it. She seems to think she can have her cake and eat it. I took the step towards divorce because I realised there was no chance of reconciliation.

Now our once-good relationship has gone sour she spends hours on the phone talking to this man, discussing meeting him, and I feel demoted to being an extra in her life.

I need advice on how to cope.

Coleen says

Forget about being demoted to an extra in her life. You’re getting divorced and the decision is made.

The thing you have to concentrate on now is your son – you need to tell your solicitor she plans to take your son abroad to live with this man she’s never met and let him deal with the legal side of things.

Make it clear to your wife that you’re happy if she wants to go off to Canada for a few weeks to meet this man and see if their relationship could work but that you will not allow your son to go with her.

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Personally, I don’t understand why your wife would want to drag her son away from his life and his father to live with a person she hasn’t even met. It’s irresponsible.

Her behaviour seems extraordinary.

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Maybe you can confide in her mum or her close friends to get their take on it and ask if they can help her to see sense. Good luck

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