3 ideal ways on how to set smart baby boundaries

Most of us can remember a moment when we saw a major toddler meltdown in the supermarket and wondered what all the fuss was about.

Could it really be so hard to keep control of a pint-sized person without them rolling on the floor and yelling?

But, once you’ve experienced the wilful fury of a two-year-old, that perspective usually changes.

Becoming a toddler is not easy - not for your baby, and definitely, not for you.

What’s even harder is how to go about promoting good behaviour while getting a handle on the bad stuff, all without crushing her emerging individuality and sense of independence.

To deal with your toddler, it helps to imagine her life - there are new things to discover all around her, but there’s also the endless restraints and policing of everything that’s fun. Can she fiddle with the TV remote? No. What about that exciting marker pen? I don’t think so. How frustrating that can be!

Then at around two, she realises that, for instance, if she doesn’t eat her biscuit, something else might be offered. She’s wielding a little power for the first time, but without the ability to see life from anyone else’s perspective.

At this age, a child hasn’t learned empathy. She’s just out to get the world to do what she wants, because that’s all that matters.

If you set solid boundaries, you’ll give her a sense of security, which will allow her personality to develop independently.

Limit it

From when you start getting routine into your child’s life, you begin creating boundaries. You’re showing her there is consistency in her life: she wakes up, gets changed, dressed and fed. These routines show a child that you’re meeting her needs. That builds trust between you.

Then, as she moves towards toddler-hood, you can start putting positive barriers in place. Experts agree that teaching your child to set limits on her behaviour is one of the most valuable things you can do for self-control, it’s also the foundation to build fulfilling relationships with other people.

You are the best reward

The most powerful way to motivate her to behave well is by giving attention in return. If you respond to her when she acts in a good way, she’ll keep behaving that way. That doesn’t mean you have to sit by her 24/7. It’s just about taking the time to acknowledge what she’s doing. Tell her, “You’re colouring so nicely now.”

Equally, if your child is aggressive, scratching or pushing other children, remember to bestow lots of attention on the other child, while firmly saying, ‘No’ to your own. Show her clearly how to be gentle with people around her, too. She has to learn exactly what is expected of her by showing her and consistently rewarding her when she does right.

Tame the tantrum

The truth is toddlers get upset for the same reasons any child does, for instance being tired or frustrated. She’s reacting to stress around her. But one reason why it often reaches such intensity so quickly is because of her inability to see life from anyone else’s perspective.

So, when your toddler has a tantrum, she’s simply communicating - in the best way she knows how - that she wants her needs met and she can’t understand why it’s not happening. What looks like a small, screaming monster is just a tiny child who feels something is wrong, doesn’t know how to put it right and wants you to do it for her.