My father is a vicar and has been for 38 years. He’ll be celebrating 42 years of marriage to my mum this year.
The thing is, he is having an affair with a woman who has been in his life since they were children.
But he didn’t marry her, he chose to marry my mother.
Recently, I found out that when he goes away on church business he takes this woman with him instead of my mum and they stay together.
Soon he is going to be travelling to his home town under the guise of business concerning my uncle’s estate – my uncle died recently and my dad has been charged with handling his affairs.
And guess what? He’s going to be taking his mistress along with him.
I know all this because I’ve seen text messages on his mobile and records of phone conversations between them.
I am so angry with my dad – he’s a cheat and a hypocrite. I have tried confronting him over the affair but he just makes out that I’m crazy!
He will not acknowledge that anything is going on.
What should I do?
Well, he certainly doesn’t practise what he preaches. So yes, he is a hypocrite.
His arrogance is also astonishing – despite you telling him that you know he’s still denying it and turning the tables to make it look like you’re in the wrong.
Which almost makes me think that he doesn’t care who knows.
Maybe it’s an ‘open secret’ and your mum is already in the picture.
As hard as that is for you to take, that might be the case. I’ve met women in this situation who don’t acknowledge their husband’s affair because, if they did, they’d have to deal with it.
You could approach him again and tell him you have the evidence and that you’re not prepared to live this double life with him.
Ask him if your mum knows and, if he says she doesn’t, tell him she ought to know so she can leave.
How would his flock react if they found out he’d been cheating on his wife? Not well, I bet.
If he won’t take you seriously I don’t think he deserves your loyalty.
But be prepared for the fact that your mum might already know and don’t hate her for staying with him.
It’s her decision to make.
What is your view?