Stop feeding boys quail eggs!

My 30-year-old girlfriend has been dating this guy for a while! She always suspected the guy was younger... but has been reluctant to ask about his age even after I pushed her to do it so they both know what they are dealing with. I convinced her not to break the relationship because of age; after all, it is just a number. So she stayed, but never asked about the guy’s age. The guy is just one stubborn man! Mood swings here and there! So yesterday, we were the three of us and they got into an argument. We were by the road side and so it was a bit embarrassing. I asked them to please get home first.

My friend agreed but her man refused saying he was not ready to talk it out. I stepped aside for a while to give them time to come to an agreement so that we could all walk home in peace. As I stood and watched from a distance, I saw the guy suddenly run very fast away from my friend and she followed suit. It was a bit late and so I decided to take off after them as well. I thought that maybe they had spotted danger!

The guy does not live far from his parents’ and he appeared to be running towards their home. I did not want to look behind to see what we were running away from. The street was a bit deserted and I did not want to come face to face with whatever it was we were running away from. All this time, none of us made any sound. He was not screaming, neither was my friend and so I had no reason to attract the attackers’ attention by doing it. I am smaller in size than both of them, so I used the advantage to run even faster past them and only stopped after entering his parent’s compound. Then I started peeping to see who clinched the silver medal after I secured the gold.

I did not wait for long before my friend walked in the compound. I asked her how she managed to overtake her man and what they were running away from! She told me her man had just disappeared and that they were not running away from anything! She had insisted that they talk out things and the guy just took off in the middle of their conversation. She followed him hoping to convince him to talk..........and I blindly followed suit!

The man’s mom came and warmly ushered us in since she knows us. Then my friend started:

Friend: Peter ameingia hapa?

Mum: Hapana. Kwanini?

Friend: Tulikuwa tunaongea tu na yeye halafu akaanza mbio akikuja huku, but akanipotelea hapo nje.

Mum: (laughing) Tangu results zitoke amekuwa kichwa ngumu sana! Sijui anataka nini? Hata kwake siku hizi halali.

Friend and I: Results??

Mum: Eeeeeeeee, si results za this year. Hajawaambia alipata nini?

Friends: Unasema results gani mummy?

Mum: KCSE.

Friend: How old is Peter?

Mum: He just turned 19!

Awooooooooo, awuooooooolan shatadeeee!!

All you mothers of teens out there! Stop feeding them quails! You make them look like our potential husbands!

Now my friend and I are drunk with coffee! We took coffee all night as we deleted his pictures from all the possible gadgets we have! All the single ladies... All the single ladies... All the single ladies, put your hands up!

Photo: dharmaexchange.com