How to balance work and motherhood

The hurdles and preconceptions that career minded women must overcome to penetrate the boardroom and reach the higher echelons of the corporate hierarchy are more than well documented.

Combine this with the difficulties many women face whilst trying to raise a happy, well-balanced family, and it’s easy to see that life as a successful women in business, is no stroll in the park. In order not to lose out on a significant proportion of talent within the labour market, women are encouraged to return to work after maternity and employers are encouraged to offer them assistance.

Women are finding themselves climbing in their career ladder and getting to sit in executive positions in the boardrooms.  With the shift into the workplace, they have had to re-adjust themselves so that they can manage both roles at home and in the office. 

Challenges

Linet Njogu and Njeri Wamae share the joys and challenges of being a working mum as Roselyn Kigen confesses her challenges, and why she bowed out of her multi-national job to be more available at home.

Linet is a marketing manager at a leading telecommunication company and has two children, Adrian aged seven and Nikki, four.  

When she was home during maternity, she found that as the baby grew and became less demanding, she began feeling idle and started micro-managing her domestic workers.

“I was smothering them with my presence and they must have been relieved when I went back to work,” she says.  “I enjoy working, it gives me a sense of identity that is separate from being a mother or wife.   One day, the children will move on with their lives and will not need me as much.   I find working refreshing as I learn new things and I interact with other dynamic people.  It’s also a way of contributing to something bigger than my homestead. 

Earning my money feels good as it enables me to treat my husband and children, and I do not have to keep asking for pocket money.   It also enables me to be a co-provider to my husband.   Being able to earn an income also enables me to engage in small income generating projects for extra income.  The office also gives me a platform to operate in an intellectually stimulating environment where I get to sharpen my skills and utilise my education,” she says.

Njeri, on the other hand, is an attractive 30-year-old flight attendant with a leading airline. She too, finds herself tremendously enjoying her job. 

 Her job requires her to travel abroad for a few days then she gets several days off when she can be home with her 18-month old daughter.

“I have become more purposeful, more focused and diligent at my job since I became a mother. My job exposes me to other people and different cultures.  In a sense, it gives me a balance from home stresses and I get to relax and have some ‘me-time’ when I travel.   I am a better person and more rested when I return from my trip, and can enjoy making a meal for my husband.  Being employed breaks monotony of housework and gives me a different perspective to life.  I am thankful for the family and job that I have as it makes me afford things in life,” Njeri says.

Working hours

Corporate jobs sometimes require extended working hours.  Linet says working late in the office can be a challenge, but is quick to note that women in such positions should always learn how to balance work and motherhood.

“Sometimes you get home when babies are asleep, which makes you feel like you aren’t a good mother. There are  times I feel like I do not know what is happening around them and this can be depressing.  On certain days I get home so exhausted that I need about an hour of rest without being bothered,” she adds.

Linet, however, says she ensures her weekends are dedicated to her young family.

 To be able to balance work and home, working women have to be super organised, and pre-planning is a must to ensure the house runs smoothly while they are at work. 

Linet ensures her house is well stocked with groceries and has prepared a menu plan and chore list, which her domestic help can easily follow.  Njeri, on the other hand, has put her baby on a schedule to ensure the nanny has enough time for the other house chores.

“I distribute the chores to various days to reduce the house help’s work load and meals are simplified with lentils and pulses boiled and frozen in advance,” she adds.

However, the story is different for Roselyn Kigen. She was forced to quit her job as a regional manager for a leading tobacco company when she realised she was an absentee mum.

“I had an exciting and powerful job where I earned a good salary.  Competing in a man’s world, I had to work extra hard and was constantly busy either at a meeting, on phone or on my laptop.  During school events, I would find out the exact hour my child was performing then rather than watch the entire event, I would hurriedly attend just that particular performance before dashing back to the office.  I particularly appreciated those birthday parties where I could just drop the children the whole afternoon or for a sleep over as I could get to have a quiet afternoon to myself,” she says.

Lucrative job

Roselyn says the sad reality that her children were closer to their house help more than her, dawned on her during the maternity leave. This forced her to do the likely — quit her lucrative job.

  “I would call them and though they would come and stay for a minute with me, they would run back to the house help.  They were happier and closer to her than me and that was hurtful.  After 15 years of being employed, I dared to leave my job to be more available to the family.  I now run a business, which enables me to pick the children from school and actively listen to how their day has been and that gives me total satisfaction,” she says.

Rebecca Ng’ang’a, a Communication and Culture lecturer at Daystar University, says women have been blessed with the ability to multitask even though this can be overwhelming at times.

She says the only way out to be an efficient worker and a mother is to find creative ways of balancing the equation.

“The woman selling vegetables by the roadside does it as she attends to her child just as the woman in the rural village cultivates with her baby by her side or on her back,” she says. 

She, however, says this is different in white-collar jobs, as mothers don’t carry their babies to the office.

“A mother takes the baby’s milk with her to the office and is forced to express it instead of breastfeeding her baby. It is always a difficult situation, but mothers have learnt to live with it,” says Rebecca.

She regrets that Kenya has and will continue to lose talent as educated mothers are forced to quit their jobs to raise children due   long inflexible working hours.