Is 40 the new 20?

 The local and international media are awash with beautiful and successful women aged 40 and above looking young and fresh. It seems as if 40 is the new 20, as more women defy societal expectations to settle down, have children, party and engage in major career shifts much later in life.

Roseline, a 43-year old high school teacher in Nyeri, took leave and travelled to Nanyuki in search of the perfect location for her wedding. She had the ultimate setting in mind, having attended numerous weddings. In many clubs she visited, the planners assumed she was celebrating her anniversary, 15th or so, and were in shock when she corrected them that it was her first time to marry.

Children

With the post-millenium world embracing technology, a woman no longer needs to rush into pregnancy for fear of her biological clock ticking, rendering her infertile. Case in point was Sarah, who, while having lunch at a restaurant, could not keep up with her playful son.

So she let him play. Seeing her anguish in trying to contain him, the waiter offered solace saying, “Your grandson is quite a handful. I could probably ...” Before he could finish, she jumped in correcting, “That is my son, not grandson!”

Sarah is among an increasing number of women who’ve just discovered that life no only begins at 40, but that 40 is the perfect time to eat life with a big spoon.

Partying

When she turned 52, Cate did not have a low-key, inexpensive birthday party in the house with her husband and kids as was the norm. She took time out to organise a road trip for the weekend, which her friends joined in. On their return, there was a lavish evening party and a spa treat.

Juliet who felt the need to party most of the time had all the time to herself after her kids had left her nest. She, therefore, scheduled going out on her calendar.  That was until her last born daughter came back home and brought along her kid.

School

It is not uncommon to hear people in their 20s lament about how they will never touch a book the moment they are done with college. But that was until the economy forced people in their 40s to go back to school to sharpen their skills or shape out of the game. As a result, numerous evening schools, known as ngumbaro, have emerged to take care of the older population seeking knowledge.

Follow dreams

Ruth felt a strong urge to retire from her formal 8am to 5pm job in pursuit of her lifelong dream of modelling. Never mind that she had just turned 43. She had it all planned out. She would start a fashion line for which she would be its brand ambassador. The husband thought she was losing it since modelling has always been known to involve women in their 20s.

Behavioral consequences

For her to pull off the fashion line and model, her doctor told her she needed to make some changes when it comes to her diet. She admitted that she had been stuffing on snacks and junky foods a bit too much but says that was as a result of her busy office hours.

“I got no time to eat and there were no healthy eateries around the office,” she defends herself. “The few that were there were expensive.”

Her doctor warned her that her body was not as flexible as when she was in her 20s. She needed to make the changes soon; otherwise she would be making many more trips to the hospital.

Perfect skin and body

It was while still in Form One that Bernice, the last born in a family of four, was suspended from high school. She was asked to bring her parents on returning from the two-week suspension to meet the disciplinary committee. When she reported, the teacher on duty could not be convinced that the women who accompanied her was her mother, as she appeared too young.

He assumed that she was a ‘hired mother’, something popular with high school students who do not want their parents to know their mischiefs. It took the production of a number of identification documents to prove that she was indeed the mother. Talk of the price of youthfulness.

Gladys was not perturbed when the young fine-looking guy hit on her during her day out at the mall . After all, she had been taking good care of herself lately. However, the look on his face when her daughter returned and addressed her as mum was priceless.

The instructor had been long impressed at Ann sister’s progress and consistency at the gym. In a nutshell, he described her as his best student. Her goals were realistic and achievable to say the least.

She had managed to tone up in less than a year and she did not find it hard to follow the diet the instructor had recommended. After all, she had raised four of her own children and knew all too well the benefits of healthy eating and the danger that lifestyle diseases poses.

What the instructor could not fathom was why Ann, the sister, or so he thought, could not keep up. That was until he found out that Ann was the daughter and was struggling to keep up with her mum who seemed to have all things in a silver platter.

Dating

Njambi, just like the musician Jeniffer Lopez, took it to another extreme when at 42 she started having thoughts of divorcing her husband for a younger man who could keep up and live it up with her newly acquired energy. She had all she needed; the money, grown-up kids and was just looking for a little more fun. She ended up dating a freshman from the university, 20 years her junior following her divorce shortly after.

On the other hand, her friend enrolled to a dating site after tirelessly looking for a man with no success.

“I spent most of my time there. It is fun flirting with men online without feeling like you are cheating,” she says.

Even as the 40s behave like they are 20, they have backup. I stumbled upon a site dedicated to the woman at 40, selling all range of products including kitchen stuff, T-shirts, buttons, pins and badges engraved with messages like, 40 is fine when you look 29, the princess is 40, it took me 40 years to look this good, fabulous 40 and 40 is the new 20.

According to Peggy Orenstein, author of Women on sex work, love, kids and life in a half-changed world, the change in women is because when women are younger, their focus is on what others want, but turning 40 signals them to ask what they want from themselves. It is empowering.