Once you are married, sex is part of the deal.
Exploring one another and growing in oneness is fascinating, exciting and extremely fulfilling.
Sex gets better with time, as a couple continues to discover each other.
Usually the first year of marriage is filled with passion and sex is exciting.
This period is based on attraction and driven by endorphins, the good feel hormone.
With time, these intense feelings slowly wear off.
This is due to various factors, including the arrival of children, financial obligations and work and family-related stresses.
When this happens it’s not uncommon for individuals to think that they have lost it, “I don’t feel him anymore,” says Mary.
“I do not know why I feel this way but although I have given it time, I am so out of him, I no longer enjoy sex and it’s been four months since we had our last union. I am happy to stay this way but it is hurting my partner.”
There is a close correlation between sex, happiness and a fulfilling fruitful marriage. Although Mary would rather abstain, it is not the best option, it is important that sex is not withheld from a partner, without mutual consent and only for a while. Dealing with feelings, attitudes and reality of the matter cannot be over emphasised. This is not something that should be ignored; the reasons for not feeling can range from, the season, hormonal imbalance, post-natal depression, unresolved conflicts and trust issues.
What matters is to face the challenge head on and sort it out, before it destroys your relationship.
The next time you deprive your partner of sex, think about this.
It helps boost your self esteem, has great health benefits; it’s a good source of much needed exercise with pleasure, great for your blood pressure, and builds your immunity. It is also improves your bladder control too, not to mention it improves your mood and thereafter a good night sleep.
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Did you know that the sperm also gives you softer silky skin, strong healthy nails and vibrant healthy hair?
A sexually active woman’s body doubles the estrogen levels and the results are good physical and emotional benefits, which in turn helps reduce anxiety and even depressive tendencies. Finally, studies indicate that regular sex improves ones mood, increases one’s lifespan and causes them to shine.
If you are going through a dry spell, acknowledge the season and remember it’s never too late to go change; it begins with a habit and then becomes a lifestyle.
The need for sex and intimacy is ageless, regardless of gender. It’s all a matter of attitude.
You can enjoy sexual intimacy for a long time even into your 70’s and beyond, it has dept as a result of self-awareness, confidence, trained gained and yes there are less distractions.
Naturally, sex in your later years cannot have the youthful energies. Now that you are young have all the sex you should, why not. Have great sex and thrive, because you deserve it!
The writer is a relationship coach and author, Marriage Built to Last
You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke
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