Confessions: Ridiculous reasons why people break up (Part Two)

We’re back!

As is evident from part one of this story, it doesn’t take much to end a relationship, especially when you aren’t feeling the person.

Let’s pick up where we left off, shall we?

6. Poor hygiene

He stunk. Literally. His sweat had a pungent smell and every time we’d have sex, he’d put his arms around me, my head would be cradled near his armpit and gosh! You know that green faced emoji? Insert it here, a million times! ~J.D

I have a thing about fresh breath and clean teeth; general oral hygiene. This man was good looking on the outside, so fresh and so clean, until he smiles and you are met with yellow plaque and food particles stuck in between the crevices of his teeth. I couldn’t handle it. One month in we broke up and now I walk around with floss in my bag. ~H.E

7. Saggy jeans

We met at the club and hit it off right away. Unfortunately I live in a different county so I rarely got to see him. I finally got the opportunity to go to Nairobi and organise a date with him. Tell me why this man pulled up to the restaurant in saggy jeans and a tonne of silver necklaces. That wasn’t the best part! He spoke like those wannabe rappers on Instagram. I couldn’t believe it was the same person. I blocked him after that date. ~E.J

8. Couldn’t pronounce my name right

I have quite a unique name, not common to many. 90% of the time it’s mispronounced hence I live by my nickname. But this one boy (he was kinda hot) insisted on calling me by my full first name. Problem is, his mother-tongue interference was hefty and made my name sound like a chemical component for an illicit brew. Needless to say, I didn’t stick around for long. ~B.C

9. His voice

Although stereotypical, a man’s deep voice, we’re talking Mufasa deep, is a serious turn on. So when you meet a man with a pretty face, nice body, can dress well and then what comes out of his mouth is a mixture of Peppa Pig and Dora the Explorer, it’s like a cold shower on a June morning. That was my experience and it has scarred me to date. ~L.S

10. He called me ‘mummy’

I loooove pet names. Babe, baby, darling, jaber, nyako, girlbaby. Call me any of these and I will soften up like butter. This man, we’d dated for less than a month, would answer calls calling me ‘mummy’. Now what is a grown man doing calling me ‘mummy’? It was a complete turn off and the relationship didn’t last long. ~Z.R

Are you ready for part three (*wink wink*)

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