By Too Jared (@tjared13)

To any budding rapper in Kenya, the dream is always to make it big time through music. It is not lost on them that to hit the jackpot of this pipe dream and claim control over the airwaves of radios and matatus , swarms of raunchy vixens on music videos to propel the charts and appearances in magazines in the fast lane of life is just that, a dream.

Finding the climb to steep, the wannabes retreat to the pavement of the fast life they envisioned to have. Below are some of the easy way out in their to do list.

 Insult imaginary haters

 There is nothing wrong on calling out on haters by rappers. It is progress. What is peculiar is when those haters are non-existent and rappers get into a studio, record a song and diss 'haters' three quarters of the time then get into a matatu and hassle for fare from the conductor like everyone else.

Invent Drama

This is the new fad pulled directly by our rappers from the pages of a soap opera. If there is no drama around their ability to rap, they have become the drama themselves. They generate their own drama be it run-ins with the police, , or child support innuendos.

Fake everything

This is a classic, no need to expound, they are everywhere. Fake jewelry, plastic accent, loaned money and fishy lifestyles.  It is no secret what some do far from the ever watching cameras and paparazzi to make ends meet. It is okay to flaunt your wealth, if you can afford it!

Do everything other than Rap!

The first calling for any rapper is to rap. That is what your fans expect of you. But there is that clique of rappers you find them everywhere and yet they have not recorded anything for ages. Their answer is always the same, ''expect something big, am back at the studio''. Duh!