Does fantasising about other women amount to cheating? That was the big question (or should I call it an argument?) we had with a gang of girls the other day. I had foolishly arrived at a boys’ drink-up early and found our pal Stella perched on the high stool bar like a female cheetah seated on a mound of soil in the savannah surveying the grasslands.
I parked my tummy in front of her, and soon we got chatting as a Man United FC game was going on. Not that it really mattered. We are both Arsenal FC fans, but often that is as much as we can agree on in this life. Stella believes women had an indelible right to be treated by men like little princesses and not just when it comes to paying the bill, but at the workplaces too.
She expects men to open doors not just for the vehicles but for the cloakroom too. That she can be utterly selfish can be an understatement at times. So we continued to chat, I mentioned that I had met a man she briefly dated a couple of years back. “I can never be bothered by that bastard,” she said. The man was always talking to his ex, even in the middle of a romantic dinner that I was personally paying. She rarely volunteers to go Dutch, so that bit of buying my pal Richie dinner got me surprised. “But then what really happened between you two then?” I asked.
She picked her narrow-neck water bottle and caressed the neck like she would caress - you know what - and then said, “That bugger was disrespectful at times.” “Tony, can you imagine that loser could actually fantasise about other women in my presence?” she hissed. “Who does that in this day and age? That should have stopped in Form Two!” she snarled.
She knows that Richie and I are good buddies, and I began feeling like am being used as the postman to post messages to Richie. “Hey, women fantasise too,” I protested. “But not like men do.” “Look Tony, we are not surprised that your mind might creatively wander, especially when you are rocking a solo mission. We just don’t want to know about it,” she barked.
At that very moment, Frao walk in with Stacy, another of the girls who easily fit in the boys crowd. I am glad that Frao has come just at the right time, when I was just about to lose an argument to the ‘alpha female’. Even before I could finish painting the scenario for them, Stacy was already shooting from the hip. “You cannot board a matatu for Dandora or Kangemi and expect that it will take you to Ongata Rongai. You just have to pick the matatu that you feel meets your need,” she scoffed.
She proceeded: “If you can’t be intimate with her without thinking of someone else, then you’re not being present or fair to her. “That is living a lie and therefore if she fakes the big O, you should not also complain!” The argument went on and on, and by the time we were done, we had reached no consensuses.