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A friend of mine got a very interesting message this past weekend. The message was sent via Facebook by a woman claiming to be an ex of her current boyfriend. The message was basically a warning.

She told her that she doesn’t know what she is getting herself into, her boyfriend is a terrible person and that she should run for the hills. My friend showed me the message and sought my advice on what she should do about it.

What would you do if you received such a message? Would you take heed of the advice or would you brush it off as a desperate act by a malicious ex who is dead set on revenge? Also, if you found out that an awful guy you dated is seeing someone new, would you try to warn her about him?

I think it all comes down to the specifics of the relationship and what makes the guy so awful. I told my friend that she should neither shrug off the message nor kick the guy to the curb.

Instead, I told her she should write back to the woman and try to get some more information because the message itself was pretty vague. Saying that someone is terrible could mean many things. Is he a terrible person because he forgot her birthday or because he beat her to a pulp?

I have never been in a situation where an Ex of a boyfriend of mine tried to warn me about him but I know that if I ever got such a message, I wouldn’t be quick to dismiss the claims.

Don’t be quick to conclude that she is a just a crazy, jealous Ex who is having trouble letting go.

Sure, there are a lot of vindictive, bitter scorned Exes who would do anything to get back at the person who hurt them but I think that any warnings of this nature are worth listening to but like I said, always try to get specifics about what is so terrible about the guy.

You may find that whatever he did to hurt her is not relevant to you or you may find that the Ex is actually on to something. For instance, if an Ex of my boyfriend told me that he was abusive to her I would definitely take note.

I wouldn’t dump him on the spot because she could be lying but I would start looking out for signs that maybe she could be telling the truth.

If you are an ex-girlfriend of some horrible guy and you are contemplating warning his new girlfriend about him, you should ask yourself if you want to do so out of pure concern or just because you want to sabotage his new relationship. 

In addition to this, you should evaluate what it is exactly that you want to warn her about. If he was just a basic asshole, let it go. Let her found this out on her own. And in any case, her situation is not relevant to yours.

He may have ignored you and treated you badly but it doesn’t necessarily mean he will do it to her too. However, if he has a serious problem, for example, if he is abusive, has a mental disorder or has a serious addiction, you should definitely try to warn the new woman in his life.

@roxannekenya