Pretty women who drive men crazy    Photo:Courtesy

Every man has met that one woman who makes him ‘stupid in love’ or should I say lust? Yes,perhaps both. That one woman a brother spends his days chasing, explores her rich history; wonders how fascinating she is; gets confused by her aura and scent; gets turned down, but is still determined to nail her…

That one woman who is so unique in a brother’s life; she makes a brother go so weak, yet the magic which she oozes, Mr. Man cannot describe.

Certain type of women are goddesses; the women we fantasize about at the risk of our own relationships, and list off as our ‘ideal’ any time of day or night whenever we are asked:

The forever young cougar

She has got commendable experience on how to tease and drive men crazy from a distance. She smells fresh. This woman probably drives a German machine, and always has packs of protection with her; she knows she can lure a brother to ‘duty’ at will.

To her, wrinkles are an unheard of phenomenon, and she got membership to a gym in the suburbs.  Actually the only men who can resist her charms are those who refuse to look at a woman older than 21 years.

The virgin who dresses like a stripper

You can find this type of women in Kenyan colleges; the second semester ‘freshers’. You know very well she is from upcountry, but wants to dress like the Kenyan version of Dita Von Teese. She is naïve, new to the urban flicker, still shy, but… her butts from the outside look like good quality!

Her face too has not yet been powdered and bruised by cheap make-up. In other words, she is a classical description of today’s Monalisa.  The dress she wears after being convinced she looks ‘trendy’ by the Nairobians, gives your eyes some good amount of ‘window shopping’ to the delicious delicacies you expect to get if you manage to pin her.

The Man Eater

This woman knows how to touch you in the right places; my friend if she puts her tongue in your ear; you will never hear again what your wife tells you! She loves sex with men, but hates who we are and what we represent. We desire her, but the only danger with her is: she will feed you some hot ‘horizontal acrobatics’, and then dump you like a sack of potatoes. Man eaters leave men traumatized, though they are easy.

The country mouse

So naïve, yet so beautiful! She has closed her arms and sight to the bad world full of ‘demons’ like you and I. Honestly; I love this ‘pure’ woman who only sees the good in people. Now my thought process is something to do with slowly corrupting this meek mouse into being a freak in matters bedroom and the wife of my dreams. However, like all fantasies, it is never that easy.

Childhood friend turned adult hottie

Now this reminds me of Brigit, my childhood friend whom we played with Cha mama na cha baba some time back in early 2000s. She has now grown into a woman; I think I want to continue playing with her the game to old age.  Brigit is like a fort having the face of an angel; touch her skin and you burn – she is hot! I think I like her because she is accessible; but I fear she might not be feeling me the same way.