Let’s talk about nice guys and their sense of entitlement to women. I recently fell victim to a man who had a severe case of the ‘nice guy syndrome’.
I met him through a community service organisation and we became acquainted when we were grouped together for a project.
I was glad when he got assigned to my project because I knew from our few prior interactions that he would be easy to work with.
He was the quintessential nice guy. He was always thoughtful, polite and respectful.
I especially appreciated how he would ensure I got home safe on the days when we worked late.
I thought he was a genuinely sweet and good natured man, little did I know he was accumulating kindness points, which he thought would add up to me dating him.
All hell broke loose when he found out I was planning to go on a date with another guy from the same organisation.
He demanded to know why I would go out with another guy over him when he had been so nice to me. I was shocked!
I had no idea that he was romantically interested in me. He had never expressed any feelings towards me.
I had no reason to think that his benevolence towards me meant he was interested in dating me.
I thought he was just being a decent human being! Where did he get of thinking I owed him a relationship? I was gutted by the whole situation. Was he only being nice to me because he believed I would repay him by being his girlfriend?
I calmly tried to explain to him that I was grateful for all he had done for me and I would always consider him a great friend but I just wasn’t interested in him in a romantic way but he would have none of it. He tried to make it seem like I had betrayed him by agreeing to go out with the other man. In his mind, he believed he had earned the right to date me by being nice to me.
Needless to say, I was put off by his behaviour and didn’t want anything to do with him after this. Ladies, beware of these self-proclaimed nice guys.
They usually have an ulterior motive.
There is nothing wrong with being nice but when a man makes a point of keeping a record of all the nice things he does for you, he might be racking up points, which he thinks will earn him a right to your heart, or at least bed.
Gentlemen, I can’t believe I have to point his out but you are not really a nice person if the nice things you do are only a way of manipulating your way into a woman’s heart or bed.
This is just like the men who buy women drinks at the bar and then get upset when the girls won’t go home with them or give them their phone numbers.
Genuine kindness is when you do something nice for someone without expecting anything in return.
A woman doesn’t owe you a relationship or sex just because you have shown her basic acts of kindness.
If you are doing nice things for a woman just because you think you are going to be rewarded in the end, you are doing yourself a huge disservice. Being nice doesn’t make you special.