By Kiundu Waweru

Did you know that you need about 20 service providers for a successful wedding? From the caterer, decorator, gown designer, rings specialist, hair stylist…a wedding can be a very costly affair.

According to a research by Steadman Group and commissioned by Samantha Bridal, wedding planner Dinah Kanake says today’s average wedding costs about Sh800,000.

But how many can afford that kind of money without bending over backwards?

Grace and Robert Kirago on their wedding day.

Says Kanake: "Couples should plan according to their means but cheap weddings are generally a disaster."

With food taking over 50 per cent of the budget, people need to start saving for the wedding about two years before. Also, Kanake advises that you involve parents while planning, because parents always hike the budget by inviting too many of their friends and family members.

Whether you engage the services of a wedding committee or those of a wedding planner, the bottom line is that the day should be memorable and should satisfy the dreams of the bride, as this is her most important day.

Weddings today have turned into a competition of sorts, with every couple trying to throw a more lavish party than the last.

A lot of lovebirds are not hindered by the price, and many stop short of draining their friends and family with fundraisers.

Goat eating parties, a euphemism for harambees, have become the order of the day. Others take huge bank loans, the weight of which is felt immediately after the honeymoon.

The service providers have also pulled all stops, with luxury on offer in form of horse drawn carriages, limousines and Chryslers. The question is, can you afford it? How much is enough?

Pastor Andrew Oyolla of the Redeemed Gospel Church, Nairobi, says: "People are endowed differently, and if you can effortlessly afford a Sh2m wedding, why not?"

But he says that you do not need to have an elaborate ceremony; all you need is to be legally cleared, be present, have witnesses and, for Christian weddings, be wedded by a qualified church minister. You can actually exchange vows in the pastors’ office!

Nonny Gathoni, who hosts a local wedding TV show, says that the budget rarely accounts for the overall success of the wedding.

"Kenyans are caught in a trend; a sort of a popularity contest for who will throw the most expensive wedding. I have been to prestigious weddings with budgets soaring to upwards of Sh5 million, and low budget weddings costing less than half a million," she says.

Nonny notes that weddings are about the atmosphere and attitude of family and friends: "Weddings should bring friends and families together and it doesn’t matter how expensive the occasion has been."

She adds that it’s dangerous to fund a wedding with loans: "I know of a couple that is struggling to pay a loan they borrowed 10 years ago."

Nonny also intimates that men confide in her saying that they are pressurised by their girlfriends to keep up with the Jones’.

She says: "Women borrow a lot from each others’ weddings, and each wants to emulate so and so or have something to be spoken about."

Pastor Andrew also warns against taking loans to fund the wedding. He says: "Money is number one marriage wrecker, and a couple should not start their married life on the wrong footing."

Kanake advises that couples should only engage qualified wedding planners.

"Most people do planning as a part-time venture and thus do not give it their all. Others have certificates in planning, but they offer poor quality services and are unethical," she says.

According to Grace Gitau, some of the planners cut on costs by engaging shoddy suppliers. "Sometimes you agree on a certain quantity, say, 40 crates of soda, and then, on the wedding day, they deliver 30 crates, when it’s too late to raise the roof," she says.

Grace and Charles Gitau during their wedding.

wedding plannners

Says Kanake: "Wedding planners should be Jacks of all trades, offering the whole package — pre-wedding services like advising them on medical tests, legal aspects like how to write a will, premarital counselling, financial advice, family planning and how to avoid pregnancy while on honeymoon because they need sometime to be happy together before the children are born".

The role of wedding planners, Says Nonny, cannot be overstated.

Says she: "The planners coordinate everything, minding every detail and the bride is afforded time to relax and look forward to her big day."

Indeed, the experts and our interviewees who have walked down the aisle say preparing for a wedding takes a toll on one, and on the wedding day, disasters are bound to happen.

Newly weds Grace and Robert Kirago were unhappy with many details during their wedding day but Kirago advises: "On that day, smile. Pretend you do not notice the mishaps and just enjoy. After all, it comes once in a lifetime."

Wedding date: April 4, 2009

Budget Sh650,000 — (Pesonal savings, Sh300,000 ;Friends and family, Sh350,000)

Food and catering: Sh180,000

DÈcor and tents: Sh158,000

Gowns/ Suits: Sh40,000

Honeymoon-Malindi: Sh60,000

Evening party: Sh37,000

Church/license: Sh20,200

Cake/champagne Sh25,000

Cards/program: Sh22,000

Photo session: Sh20,000

Transport: Sh10,000

Rings Sh18,300

Photos and video Sh25,000

Entertainment Sh30,000

Miscelleneous Sh5,000

Lovey dovey newly weds both bankers, wedded earlier this year.

Says Grace: "Ours was a nice garden wedding that our parents and friends chipped in to make it a success."

Robert had dated Grace for three years and, after the proposal, it took them four months to prepare for the wedding.

"We sought the services of wedding planners but they proved expensive, some asking for 20 per cent of the budget. Later, we formed a committee comprising friends and family and came up with cost effective planning. For instance, the garden concept cuts on the fuel because you don’t move from the church to the reception," he says.

And Grace adds that planning for a wedding is a strenuous affair, given that men do not like to participate.

"I did 90 per cent of the tasks," she says, looking at Robert accusingly. She adds: "But then again, the wedding is about the woman."

"Yes indeed and, for a man, if you can afford it, give your woman a memorable day, but keep in mind that it’s only for a day. It should not put the rest of your life together in jeopardy," says Robert.

Wedding date: September 19, 2009

Budget Sh120, 000.

Rodgers did not have money when he decided to get married.

His friends agreed to be part of a cost-cutting committee.

He says that he is lucky because he works in a hotel and his colleagues prepared the food.

"I just bought the raw foodstuff, and they prepared it at no cost. To further cut on cost, I used the church hall, which charges a paltry sum," says Rodgers.

Elizabeth and Peter Mwendia

Wedding date: 2006

Budget: Sh13,000

Peter, a dentist, felt that having paid the dowry, what was left was legalising the union.

They went to the AGs office, where the requirements are a 21-day notice, a fee of Sh3,000 and two witnesses.

"After the formal ceremony, I threw a party for family and friends that cost us about Sh10,000," says Mwendia.