Waeni's murder: Danger signs to watch to avoid online predators

A thread of private messages on Instagram between slain university student Rita Waeni and her killer(s) revealed constant engagement with a stranger who would later turn out to be a predator. Waeni naively walked into a death trap and unwittingly delivered herself to her killers. What started as an online chit chat between strangers and blossomed into a virtual relationship ended tragically for the 20-year-old fourth year student at Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology (JKUAT). Police sources revealed that Waeni was in constant conversation with the man on Instagram. They say the killer avoided using direct phone calls or messages for what they believe was to avoid being traced. From the day the two met online to the fateful day, the two avoided other communication channels and only used Instagram's Direct Messages. According to police sources, the man gave Waeni directions to their meeting location on the same platform. However, at some point Waeni developed cold feet and got suspicious of the man's motives. She even asked him if he was planning to kill her. Part of the conversation showed on several occasions, she declined requests by the man for a physical meeting until he told her he was travelling out of the country and that he wanted them to meet before his departure. He avoided mobile calls even on the day they were meeting. Instead, he gave directions to the apartment through the social media platform. Police reports indicated that in part of their conversation, the man asked Waeni to meet him at Thika Road Mall (TRM) bus stop. He informed the girl he was wearing white shoes and after Waeni alighted at Roysambu after a long journey from Syokimau in Athi River, she disclosed her dress code and where she was standing for easier identification. They met and proceeded to their pre-booked room. Her body was recovered later, dismembered and the head chopped off. The horrifying murder appears to be premeditated. Government pathologist Johansen Oduor, who conducted a postmortem on the body would later reveal that her killer(s) had clipped off her fingernails in an attempt to eliminate traces of his DNA. The legs were cut off from the trunk. The pathologist termed the killer(s) cruel and heartless - something he has never encountered in his forensic life. "The killer looked like he knew what he was doing because when you look at the skin it looks like it was cut by a sharp object but when you look at the bone, it was sawed off with what looked like a hacksaw," said Dr Oduor. The family's spokesperson Dr Lillian Mutea said they believe she was lured to her death. The killer also tried to extort money from the family. The events that led to the cruel murder of Waeni raises questions of how one would be lured to death by stranger. Experts argue it could be consequences of online grooming. Jackline IKuwa, a children officer at the Child Online Protection Department said online grooming is a situation where a predator monitors online activities of their targets. She said they identify their victims based on the vulnerabilities a target may possess. According to Ikuwa, an online predator monitors their target for a long time to establish a pattern of online sites they are liking, the content they are engaging in and the language they are using. They target a person who is highly vulnerable with a goal to get trust. It starts with a harmless 'hello' and chat that gives an impression that portrays the predator as a caring person. "If a predator notices signs that the victim feels unheard or has issues at home or school, they exploit that vulnerability to their advantage and give the impression that they care," said Ikuwa. The predator establishes 'trust' and the victim starts to feel they have a person they can open up to and share information. "The victims believe the other person is trustworthy enough to share their information," said Ikuwa. A recent assessment report on Online Child Sexual Exploitation and Abuse (OCSEA) Kenya, shows children have low levels of awareness of the risks posed by the internet, and limited knowledge about how to get support or report concerns and disclosures. It states that children are widely engaged in 'online dating' but tend not to view online grooming as abuse because there is no physical touching taking place. The report identifies online grooming as the biggest safety concern for children with girls being at higher risk than boys. Ikuwa said predators zero in on children or adults who are lonely, suffering some form of pain, neglect or loss in their life or those struggling with low self-esteem. As the engagements go on, the trend of reverse psychology comes out. "If they want to establish their victim's age or perceptiveness, they would ask them to do something and later retract on grounds that the victim would disclose about it to their parents or friends." "In that scenario, the victim feels the need to prove themselves that they can be trusted or they are mature enough to handle whatever they are being asked to do," said Ikuwa. Once they get the attention, Ikuwa says the predator starts to ask for more information. "It could start with the basics like their location, pictures of their surroundings, pictures of what they like or what they are wearing. Slowly it gets to a point where they are sharing explicit content and in the long-run the predator is in a position of power to manipulate the victim," explained Ikuwa. A physical meeting may be proposed in the conversations and since the communication has been going on for a long period and a lot of personal information shared, the victim gets an illusion they know the person. "Anyone can fall victim to online grooming and in the case of a child, they believe the information the predator shared reflects their true identity. Therefore, they don't pose to second-guess the intentions," she added. Ikuwa explained that online grooming can be fast or slow depending on the predator's ability to pick the vulnerabilities and how easy their victims are able to open up. According to police reports, Waeni had confided to a friend that she was going for dinner and would be back. It is unclear when the engagement on Instagram started and so were the man's intentions. He was the initiator of the conversation. Ikuwa explains that in situation where someone converses with a stranger, they tend to hide from other people and if they do, they hide the other persons' identity probably in fear of being misjudged "Sometimes they agree to keep it a secret or the victim waits to see if the online relationship would materialise," said Ikuwa. The anonymity of the internet provides perfect opportunity for predators to hide their identity. This makes it hard to be traced. Depending on vulnerabilities of their victims, the predators hide their age or appear slightly older to appease their victims and make them comfortable to open up. "If the victim's vulnerability is need for money, the predator will portray themselves as a rich person and can afford them a certain lifestyle. The victims' mistake gifts come as a result of concern and love for them," said Ikuwa. She said for one to be safe from online grooming, they should avoid sharing personal information to strangers and in instances they agree to meet, it should be in public spaces. In some scenarios, the scammers may ask for sexual or financial advances. "Some victims of online grooming shy away from reporting it because they fear being punished or being subjected to victim-shaming. Others feel like it is their fault they fell into the trap." "There are instances where children are punished for their honesty. But it is not their fault and such victims should get necessary support and actions taken quickly," said Ikuwa. According to Lilian Amusolo, a counselling psychologist, social media gives an illusion of connectedness such that one feels comfortable connecting with people they meet online than the people they socialise with physically. She says developing a culture of honesty and openness between a child and a parent would save them from risks of exploitation, harm or even worse death. "Sometimes, children might be missing some love from their parents and they go look for it out there. I am not saying that is what happened in this matter, but sometimes we lose it out from our children and they go to someone else who comforts them and that is how they are lured," added Amusolo. She said predators lure their victims with simple things they miss out in their life and guard their conversations from other people. "What someone posts on social media is a reflection of how their feelings are. If someone posts everyday feeling sorry, it is easy for a person following them online to know they are vulnerable," she added. Unfortunately, the online world is a reality many parents and carers have little knowledge of, or do not have time or capacity to monitor. Amusolo pointed out laxity in guidance and monitoring young people exploring a new world of unregulated social media. "You cannot know everything but parents should be in touch with their children's activities on social media. When you buy a mobile phone or a tablet, guide them on how to explore social media," said Amusolo. "We are in a digital world but we have left our children to handle themselves," said the counsellor. However, Ikuwa noted that five-year National Plan of Action to Tackle Online Child Sexual Exploitation and Abuse 2022-2026 has obligated different actors to protect children from online exploitation and abuse.

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