Why did my last boyfriend lose interest in me?

Hi Chris,

My last boyfriend suddenly lost interest and just vanished, and I’ve heard some friends experience the same thing. Why do guys do that?

Lost Interest

Chris says,

Hi Lost Interest!

He may have just found someone else. Or you thought he was interested when he wasn’t. Or he enjoys the chase but gets bored once he’s got the girl. Or he’s already got what he wanted from you (sex). Or he just doesn’t know what he wants.

But you can always spot the signs that things aren’t working out, even on your first date. So watch out for them from now on.

For example, you might have talked and talked. Trying to convince yourself that you felt something, but you didn’t.

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Or everything was so great that you’re in the bedroom pretty quickly. Then, everything slows down. He’s got what he came for.

Or it’s been super intense, he can’t get enough of you and says he loves you. You’re so happy. Then, suddenly, he disappears. He was chasing someone else all the time.

Maybe things are good but not quite right. You could date forever, but you will never get married.

So let him go if he says he’s not sure how he feels about you or that he’s not ready to commit. Or if he talks about his ex too much. Or if he hasn’t really asked you out. Texting for weeks isn’t a relationship.

Or if he doesn’t let you near his phone and never picks up when you’re there.

He doesn’t take your calls, never calls you back and takes ages to reply to messages? Is he always canceling plans? You don’t see him for days on end? There’s someone else.

But if he’s really the one, things will be different. You’re just being yourself and he’s still really into you. You have no doubts. Even just sitting together is fun.

So it’s never the end of the world if a boyfriend loses interest. Because you have to meet a lot of guys before you find the right one. But when you do, you’ll know.

All the best,

Chris