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How to help a spouse going through a crisis

Relationships
 If you put yourself in the shoes of the spouse who’s trying to cope, you can understand the kind of support they need at that time [Courtesy]

Crises don’t usually discriminate because they can attack anyone, anytime. Some of the common reasons why people find themselves in a fix are, career situations, the loss of a loved one, health worries and sometimes it can come due to general changes like the infamous midlife crisis.

When you’re going through it everything feels dull and at that moment, you might think that there is no hope. You need someone to help you overcome and your spouse is your right-hand man.

If you put yourself in the shoes of the spouse who’s trying to cope, you can understand the kind of support they need at that time.

Here are some basics on what to do when your spouse isn’t okay.

Put their needs fist

For any marriage to work, you have to be comfortable putting the other person’s needs before yours. The exchange of vows is a symbol of the oneness you should have, and this is the foundation of every healthy marriage.

That however is not to say that your needs don’t matter because they do as well. But during this season, you have to focus on your spouse and be there for them because that is also how you would want to be treated if you were in the same situation.

 To help them out, you can plan a simple outing to cheer them up [Courtesy]

Be patient

Some crises can last for months, even years. Life can be very unpredictable so when this happens and it seems to be taking longer than you expected, you have to practice patience.

If your spouse has just received some bad news from the doctor, it will take a while before they can be okay again and you can’t put a time limit on their recovery.

You will have times when you want things to get back to normal, which is natural, but this experience should strengthen your perseverance.

 Encourage them to open up

It’s a common thing where men don’t choose to talk about their problems. They tend to seek solutions on their own and try and hide how they really feel.

Although you would want to know what’s going on, you can’t force anyone to open up if they don’t want to. However, you can show your support by letting them know that you’re there for them when they’re ready to open up.

Help them find a solution if possible

If they open up and it’s something that you might be able to assist in, try your best to do so. It doesn’t mean that you have all the right answers, it just means that you’re making sure they don’t feel isolated in their situation.

If they’re okay with it, help them brainstorm and encourage them to try different solutions.

Plan an outing

A crisis usually makes everything dark and gloomy. It becomes harder to experience joy and you might have zero motivation to plan anything fun.

To help them out, you can plan a simple outing to cheer them up. A suggestion would be to take them somewhere where they can feel calm like a park or a short drive somewhere.

For now, it might be better to avoid busy and overcrowded places that might make them feel more uneasy.

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