A five-point plan for managing your anger
1. Say "I" instead of "you"
One of the first things we do when angry is blame and shame the other person for our feelings. By saying "I feel" instead of "you make me feel" we take ownership of our own feelings.
2. Stick to the facts
It's very easy to mix up facts, feelings and opinions when bringing a complaint to someone, resulting in an argument. By stating the facts first - such as "we agreed to meet at 8 and you arrived at 8.30" - you can keep the matter clear.
3. Don't take it personally
When we realise that 99% of what others say em and or do to us is actually all about them and not about us, we can start to let people resolve their own issues instead of allowing ourselves to believe the put-down.
4. Deal with past-tense anger
Rage is most often the result of unfinished business between people. Stop 'sweeping' anger under the carpet. It's real and will eat away at you and your relationships if you don't learn how to express it clearly.
5. Look at the 'big picture'
There's no sense in stressing about things that don't matter in the long run. Learn to say how you feel in the moment, then make time to discuss things that are important to you when you're NOT angry.
Learn to have empathy too - in other words, listen with an open heart.