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Home / My Man

How city women become husband snatchers

 Ipsos survey- 2015
  • We have a crisis. So dire is the scarcity of single men that an incredulous 40 per cent of the women in Nairobi have no boyfriends, 48 per cent of them are 'husband snatchers,' while only 12 per cent date bachelors.
  • According to an Ipsos survey commissioned by and partly published by our sister publication, The Nairobian a while back, 97 per cent of the 257 women sampled admitted to having had sex with a married man at one point in their lives, while 77 per cent of them prefer dating married men.

In what would pass as an insult against solid, mature wives, married men mostly date young 'girls' aged between 21 and 29, seventy-six per cent of whom claim married men are way 'sweeter' than 'hustlers.' Financial benefits aside, they consider married men more responsible, less nagging and more focused than single men. That only 1 per cent of the women steal other people's husbands for sexual satisfaction is an indication that squirting is overrated. The reality is that women want focused and responsible men who take care of their needs.

No wonder, men who cheat the most are those who live in their own homes (59 per cent). They probably have a self-assurance that women find irresistible and the disposable income to dole around. But on the converse, men who pay rents of less than Sh26,000 cheat more than those who spend Sh50,000 or more on monthly rents. Seems like the low rent payers would rather stuff their kids in hovels and spend the extra income 'munching'  forbidden fruits.

It is, however, not clear whether men who spend more on rent don't cheat because they are successful and happier family men, or whether the financial demands of living the middle class dream- costly apartment, car and school for the kids - leave no loose change for canoodling with young women who get high on two 'panty removers.'

But the city girl's dream of ensnaring 'white meat' for keeps because wazungu are 'romantic and faithful' might be misplaced. Seven per cent of the women sampled confessed they were doing it with a white married man. While a shocking 73 per cent of the 'husband snatchers' have no regrets, those who think taken men are a raw deal cite insufficient quality time, confrontation with the wife, emotional guilt because of being ostracised by society and fear of being dumped as the reasons they should never have hooked up with a married man in the first place.

Others feel guilty for interrupting a marriage, breaking a family, the fact that he has children whose future they could be messing up with, and fear of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Note that 9 per cent of them have unprotected sex with someone's husband, 16 per cent do it occasionally, while 23 per cent have "not yet," suggesting they are likely to say "to hell" and fling the packet of condoms into the bin.

Although 66 per cent of the women who have never slept with a married man say they have no intentions of doing so, 37 per cent of them say finding a pot-bellied man who wants to tango is as easy as snapping one's fingers. Eighty-one per cent of them, however, say they would never have a baby with a lying ba****d who turns out to be another woman's husband. Not surprisingly, 'husband snatchers' blame wives for their husbands' philandering, saying men become unfaithful because they are bored or have lost interest in their marriages or wives. Over half of them have no intention of marrying the man if he throws out his wife or to have a child with him, though.

 Clearly, this is just business, nothing personal.

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