We’re going through a rough patch over a load of trivial issues, even though we still love one another. So I’m really surprised how easily things have fallen apart.
How can we put things right?
Hi Falling Apart!
Couples always assume they’ll stay close just because they love one another, but actually it takes far more than that.
Which is why you hear young marrieds saying that they’re growing apart. Because as the excitement of falling in love fades, all sorts of issues start emerging.
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Like it’s common for couples to struggle over social habits that were fine as singles, but which don’t work well for marrieds. Like drinking with colleagues after work.
Another problem is dealing with careers and kids. Couples rarely appreciate how difficult it is to stay close while you’re concentrating on your job and the children. So develop daily habits that help you reconnect. Even just a few minutes having a drink together every evening will tune you in to one another again.
Another difficulty is that people marry later these days, and have become used to making their own decisions. So combining the lives of two highly independent minded individuals can be quite a challenge. Make a point of talking together about decisions that affect you both, or agreeing to differ about stuff that’s individually important.
And whatever else you do, always be positive towards one another. So catch yourself if you’re about to say something negative, and instead make your point in a supportive way. Make it easier to discuss difficult topics by scheduling your discussion for a good time, and keeping things short and business-like.
Above all, work on your love life! Find ways to say when you’re in the mood, keep things fresh by being inventive, and do your utmost to please one another. Good sex is critical to staying close, so give it a very high priority. And enjoy your relationship. Talk about the good times, like how you met, celebrate anniversaries, and sincerely cherish one another. Then you’ll be happy forever!
All the best,