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Confessions: I’m upset my mistress is cheating on me with workmate

Marriage Advice
 She’s been seeing another guy at the office for casual dates (Photo: Shutterstock)

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my early-40s and I have been having an affair with someone at work for about five months.

My wife works really long hours – she’s married to her job – and I barely see her these days.

This woman at work was interested in me, she’s fun and we have a good time together, so I just fell into it I suppose.

I thought this woman was single, although I don’t remember ever having a conversation about her love life, but it’s emerged that she’s been seeing another guy at the office for casual dates, although he’s not someone I have to work with.

I guess I don’t really have any right to tell her what to do because I’m married, but I can’t help feeling betrayed and I don’t want her seeing anyone else.

I think I could be falling in love with her, so it’s all very confusing.

I feel I’ve put my marriage on the line for her and she doesn’t appreciate the risk I’m taking to be with her.

What’s your opinion?

Should I end things with her or tell my wife it’s over?

Coleen says:

I’m finding it hard to drum up any sympathy for you here!

You’ve got yourself into this mess and you’re the one who is married, not your lover.

She has no commitments, but you expect her to be faithful to you, while you go home to your wife every night after being unfaithful yourself.

My advice to you is to turn your ­attention to your marriage and sort that out one way or the other.

If you do want to carry on seeing this other woman, then do the right thing and tell your wife you don’t want to be married to her any more.

But a word of caution – of course this affair is exciting and fun because it’s ‘forbidden’ and it’s all about risk-taking.

Ask yourself if it would be as thrilling if you were in a proper relationship that was out in the open and you were both involved in all the mundane stuff that comes with living together – bills, laundry, who’s taking the bins out and so on.

Also, I’d be careful of throwing your lot in with this woman – she’s clearly keeping her options open and you have way more to lose than she does.

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