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Why a little drama is good marriage spice

 Most men who have calm wives are very busy outside (Photo: iStock)

Men go and stay where there's peace. Well, this is a lie we've been told since time immemorial. Maybe it worked in the days of our old fathers and their beautiful wives.

But when you ask a present-day woman who has given her man the peace he asks for, she'll tell you such men rarely 'sit in one place' because the peaceful environment kinda chokes them.

Well, peace is relative. But most men who have calm women for wives are very randy. They have perfected their ways of philandering and mastered the art of "outside catering".

They do it with so much ease and calm because theirs are women who never have issues with anything, whatsoever.

If a man has a cool wife back at home, try find out what kinda girlfriend or mpango he has. They're usually chaotic and give unrealistic demands, ultimatums and deadlines. (Because 99.9 per cent of these humans have other women on the side, don't frown at my statement).

Their girlfriends are the ones who are loud and would demand explanations at anything, much as they're not main chicks.

Men in real sense would love to have and stay with dramatic women. Dramatic here depends on how you would view it.

Such women keep them on their toes and make their minds and nerves work well. It is why a man would still afford to have a woman who is the absolute opposite of his calm wife, and will never let go of her.

Ever asked yourself what the hell Boaz saw in Philegona? Because she is the queen of drama queens as compared to his wife and he just loves how she harasses him everyday.

You'll realise most men work well under great pressure and maximum supervision. See how a man can't keep his pairs of socks and boxers in order? He can't locate his vest or shirt.

See how he presses the toothpaste unevenly and can't remember important dates and memories in his and his person's lives.

So why do you think such a human needs peace and would be comfortable with all the calm around him?

He already needs to be reminded of things that happen around him. And, you can't keep doing this politely and peacefully, can you?

Also, don't you think being too calm is very boring for life? Normal is boring. Ask questions and demand answers. Check out for anything suspicious and ask for an explanation and insist on finding all the whys.

Frisk, snoop, bring issues. It keeps their mind alert and responsible, because even when out there just a call or text from you will scare the hell out of them and scatter some silly plans.

No man settles where he finds peace. Actually, the most randy men come from peaceful homes and marriages.

Such a man will have all the peaceful time to philander without a care, without worrying about questions and explanations.

He will take his time and do his shit to the maximum then majestically walk back to his woman like the legend he is.

Because home is where peace is! And peace gives him time to be chaotic in outdoor engagements.

Hello, y'all women who plan to settle with the other gender at some point in your lives. Chaos is good. Drama is good. Do not choose peace, do not give peace.

Well, he'll philander at some point in your lives, (lives because si his life is your life?) but let him loose the election (pun intended) at the thought of your name. Don't allow him to cheat in peace, by giving him peace.

Make him choke on the randy cats when he sees your name on his phone screen.

Find something, anything that will disturb his peace. He might threaten to leave, but he won't.

He will eventually get used to your noise and drama and chaos and stick. That will be his lifestyle til Kingdom come.

He will run helter-skelter when it's time and he's not home. He'll caution his horny concubines not to disturb his peace because he has a dramatic but very lovable wife and he wouldn't want to disappoint or disrespect him.

He will cheat, but it will be a lot of work and who knows, he might give up along the way and decide to remain faithful. Just don't be a boring woman who doesn't scare a man and his side women.

A man with a (noisy) and snoopy woman in his life is a responsible man.

He loves that his woman keeps tabs on him and always wants to know his whereabouts, reminds him that he has a family to take care of and fights off husband snatchers. (I do not, however, subscribe to this husband snatching theory but anyway).

Any man would love to have a woman who fights for him, does anything to mark her territory and protects their marriage. If chaos will make him stay, choose chaos. If peace is making him philander with peace, choose chaos.

As a good friend of mine, La Patrona, always says, instil the fear of God in your man and you'll live happily ever after till death do you apart!

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