Nine types of women you are likely to date before settling

The dating scene is like a pond of frogs and you might have to kiss a few before you find your princess. But unlike frogs, or maybe like frogs, they come in many shades. And you are likely to encounter some of these:

The Mysterious

She dresses and makes up like she has something to hide. Not your usual open book, she is an enigma and doesn’t say much. Usually, an independent lone wolf and she does not need you.  You will be obsessed with trying to figure her out, her childhood, find the skeletons in her closet but nothing gives away. Years later, you will find yourself asking yourself wondering what she was thinking.  

The Spoiler

She will take you out, get your swag up, pay your bills, fill your tank or even buy you a car. With this generous queen, you never have to worry about bills, she got you!

The Wife Material

She is what they call the perfect wife material, doesn’t drink or go out, cooks for you, goes to church, cleans up, her hems always below the knees, and has no make-up. Everyone wants to marry her but one thing I know, these ones will have one major weakness that will be a thorn in the flesh for the rest of your life!

The Baby

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Probably the only child or the lastborn, she has never really grown up. She is childlike and somewhat naïve. You love her curiosity and pride yourself as her teacher of life. She usually has a big heart, loves genuinely and is trusting. Small inconveniences turn into waterworks and maybe you’ll love her for that!

The Freak

She wears her sexuality like a badge of honour and you will never forget all the things she did to you in the bedroom.

The Party Queen

She is the life of the party, a great entertainer, witty and bewitchingly charming. She is here for a short time not a long time. She has some serious commitment issues and trying to put her in a cage is a wild goose chase! She might settle down at some point, but not now and not with you. Hurt her and she will move on the next hour!

The Gold-digger

Yes, all she wants is your money! So if you haven’t made your first million yet, don’t own a four-wheel drive, don’t worry, she will never look your way. She is charming, allows you to underestimate her wits and she knows how to get your trust. Just like aluminium, she is malleable and will turn herself into your ideal.

Two weeks later, you will be paying the medical bills for her entire terminally ill clan with endless funerals. Her tears are always nearby and good sex usually follows your acts of benevolence. Once you go bankrupt or stop providing, she will drop you harder than a hot coal. And also, you are not the only man in her life as she’s made you believe. But you will never catch her cheating!

The Despondent

She has been through hell and back, has loved deeply and has been betrayed. She has insecurities, overthinks, is anxious and severely suspicious. Her life has been a series of misfortunes and has countless sob stories. She is not really a bad person but she needs therapy, not you!

The Psychopath

She will break your glasses and plates, tear your clothes, run you over, vandalise your car and set your house on fire if you piss her off, so don’t! She’s just an angel with serious anger issues, that’s all. She did not come to ruin your life just so you know.

She could be the sweetest thing in the world one minute and leave a bitter taste in your mouth the next. She is an addictive elixir and every attempt to break up with her ends up with sweet make-up. Your friends are tired of telling you to leave her, just like Mejja, huskii !