I call it a peeping thong. That is, the faux pas that happens when a G-string “peeks” from behind a woman’s pants or skirt.
Many times, a “peeping thong” is not a woman’s fault. Blame it on Murphy’s Law. Other times, it is the wrong choice of wardrobe, which may have looked right nine seconds ago.
At a time when every weirdo and their sidekick have a camera phone, you don’t want your pink “peeping thong” to go viral. Which is why it’s important to check your outfit before you check out.
However, even after rechecking and doing lunges in front of the mirror, clothes seem to have a mind of their own, and “behave” differently in different situations.
My eyes have stumbled upon peeping thongs while I am travelling in a 14-seater matatu, when a woman is alighting, and, because the vehicle’s seats are squeezed, the unenviable happens.
Many times, these are matters that women have control over, yet they decide to throw all the decency out of the Nissan’s window.
The most common accidents are see-through tights that women like to wear with cropped tops, which show all the specs of their panties.
There are no two ways to it, baby: it is either fashion, or you are flashing.
Then there are fashion accidents that are waiting to happen. Like the tendency of a panty to “peep” if the trouser’s waist is several sizes larger. You might have left home without tying a belt, thinking your waist will hold your trouser, only for your waist to let you down.
EVERYDAY OFFICE WEAR
If you do not want to tie a belt — maybe you want to rock a low-waist jean — sew your trouser at the waist’s sides to a tight fit, and you are good to go.
Or you could go with a waterfall top, which will stylishly cover your business.
Remember, a thong that is under the garment gives a woman a sexy look; but a thong that is peeping is a spoiler.
For gowns on the red carpet, there are only three options: a seamless panty, G-string or or opt for free-buffing which is being panty-less or going commando. This is because, when the gown is worn, it is supposed to have clean lines in the derriere.
Anything else will spoil the unobstructed view the designer had in mind. Obviously, this is not your everyday office wear. But, if you are free-buffing, watch your steps.
When worn, a panty is not supposed to leave a v-shaped indentation in the derriere.
Enter seamless panties. These will give you a clean contour, without an indentation. Alternatively, a long top will save a woman from feeling uneasy if and when eyes automatically veer to the indentation.
Then there are the bikers that some women wear under their trousers, which leave indentations around the thighs.
If you can, lose the bloomers, baby. That said, there could be instances — like a medical condition or advanced age — when a woman feels that wearing a bloomer or biker is her surest bet.
On the other hand, apart from knowing one’s cup size, the bra game seems to be pretty straightforward: dress and depart.
In fact, to many women (and many, many men) it is almost like it is anything goes when it comes to bras. But it is not that straightforward.
To avoid bra bloopers, the first place to start is the size. Always buy the correct cup size. There is no excuse for sloppiness. A perfect fit will keep your golden globes in perfect peace.
There are bra faux pas that have become so widespread till they do not look like such a big deal. The most common is letting bra straps to show. There are several hacks to keep a bra straps tucked under one’s garment.
If, for instance, the bra straps are visible while you are wearing a vest, a quick and easy way to take care of the situation is to use a paper clip to hold both bra straps inwards.
And to give that sleeveless number a classy look, opt for a strapless bra. You do not want bra straps to be in the way.
Why, the normal human reaction is for the eyes to veer toward an accident.
Common sense dictates that a bra is an undergarment, and should, barring unavoidable circumstances, remain under one’s outer garment.
The only time any undergarment should be seen by the public, is after it has been laundered.
The sun’s rays have free antibacterial elements for clothes that are being dried, which is why panties should not be aired in bathrooms.