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Calling hours are restricted: The 5 rules of engagement for side guys

Lady Speak
 First of all we need to agree that these men exist

Side guys, who are an equivalent of side chicks need to observe certain rules.

First of all we need to agree that these men exist in relationships. In marriages having this side guy is a clear sign that we no longer respect the institution as it is.

But again, it’s 2017 and this is becoming a norm.

Anyway, the fact that they agreed to be in a relationship with full knowledge of the existence of another man should humble them.

They are supposed to co-exist peacefully with the main guy and at best remain unseen and unheard. Here are the five basic rules they should always stick to.

1. Observe calling hours.

Calling hours are restricted to normal working hours 8-5.This will help prevent ugly situations where a side guy has an ugly exchange with the main man.

Unnecessary long calls are not advisable. It breeds a very unhealthy relationship where the woman and his side guy will imagine themselves the new Romeo and Juliet of the 21st century. This will offend the poor main guy.

2. You shall not despise the main guy.

It doesn’t matter whether you are handsome with a body as great as that of Denzel Washington. You should always respect the main guy. Had you been the best man, she would be with you and not that other man.

3. You shall not be found near the woman's home.

The thumb rule of this ugly situationship is that under no circumstance shall you be found within a 10km radius of your shared woman's home. Even when you dream, confine yourself to your house and dingy hotels you meet with your woman. The details of what will happen should you be found in her house are known to you unless you live on the ocean floor.

4. Shoulder some bills.

Since you are a beneficiary of the poor woman’s self, share bills in peace. Paying saloon bills among other handouts here and there is not too much to ask. It is a shame to let another man be the only man feeding the cow yet you both milk the cow.

5. You shall stick around in worst moments.

You are not supposed to only get her cash, drive her car in the name of being her mechanic or hide in the shelter that she belongs to another man.If the going gets tough and God forbid (her husband dies), or she is dumped by her husband, be the fall guy.  

You are not allowed to pull a disappearing act like how politicians treat their electorates after elections.

If this rules are followed to the latter, we hope that cases of side guys and the main man killing each other will reduce. Divorce rates will also be at an all-time low.

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