We have all read dating books and heard advice from relationship experts where women are discouraged from allowing a guy dip his fingers in the cookie jar on the first date or in the first months of the relationship because it will paint her as loose.
Personally, I think the sooner we immerse ourselves in reality and stop expecting to be perfect, the better it will serve us as humanity.
Take things easy and do not live your life too much by the book or else you'll end up leading a straight jacketed boring life. I want to die fulfilled and happy, not bitter and whining, I do not know abut you.
The three month rule that was probably coined by some lousy person who chances are, had a boring sex life to me is crap. Seriously, how do you wait for three months before you sample each other, not because both of you feel is the right thing to do but because you read somewhere that, that is how it should be?
No doubt the topic is debatable so allow me posit my school of thought regarding the same. As a woman I would take offence by anyone labelling me loose if I for chose to sleep with a man on the first date. It is a decision by two consenting adults and if anything then both parties involved have moral decadence issues, why peg names on the woman alone?
Two, ladies, let no one lie to you. If a man approaches you with a fixed mind of laying you, it does not matter how hard to get you play, he will wait for a year if he must.
By that time, your gullible naive self will be gloating to your circle of how you have met this Mr. Right who is not in a hurry, the one you have been praying for, bla bal but the moment he finally has it, my friend you will not know what hit you. He will be gone faster than you can spell your own name.
But a man who sees more than what you carry between your legs, one who is really interested to know you for you, it does not matter if you let him in on the first date, it will make no difference, he will still want to keep you.
The truth many women refuse to admit but allow me have the honours of admitting on their behalf without fear of contradiction, is that we love sex just as men do or even more. It is the society that has wired us to pretend just so we seem descent.
That is why even in marriages, wives wait for their husbands to initiate sex in the bedroom while they end up suffering in silence. That is why; a woman would wait for a man she genuinely likes to make the first move because of the "I do not want to seem like a messed up girl" syndrome.
So guys, if she agrees to allow you dip your fingers on the first date, do not think ill of her. Doing so makes you a chauvinistic fool because you equally participated in the act with her.
The moment she becomes a loose woman to you, what does that make you, virgin Saint Paul? Oh paliz! That is probably a woman who felt the chemistry was right and went ahead to indulge in the moment. It does not mean she does it with other men she has gone on dates with, you might be just a lucky dude, come on people, why we must tag morality in every damn aspect of life.
However, I would think it is absurd for a woman to give in just because she is trying to earn the guy's love. Who told you dropping your pants can make a man love you?
Even if you dish it like Monalisa it might be mouth watering yes but it takes more than sex to get a man's love. Giving it right, however much encouraged will keep him coming for a while but it will not get him to commit to you for who you are. So if you give in on the first date to please and keep him, then a moment of silence for you.
On the other hand, if you decide to keep it from him for a while, do it for the right reasons. Do it because you are not ready and let that be an inner conviction, do not keep him waiting because you are trying to prove to him, or someone somewhere that you are decent, there ain't no decency there, that is a matter of choice. One of the key reasons people get into relationships is for sexual satisfaction so, enough said.
Ladies, we are known to be ten times smarter than the word brilliant itself. Our anathema thus is failing to realise the same. Society has been and continues to be unfair to us, that is a cinch. But once you fathom it is your life, go ahead and make yourself happy.
As long as you do not waste yourself, as long as you focus on the bigger picture in life and as long as you are convinced you are doing the right thing, everyone else can eat a cake. Whether or not you open the cookie jar on the first date depends on the two of you and the reasons why, every other thing is trivial. Hey, remember to protect yourselves.