I am 31 and got engaged on New Year’s Eve. I have been dating this guy for about a year. He is loving, caring and financially stable and I am three months pregnant with his child. However, I have a son who lives up-country with my mother. My mother treats him like her own child and even says she is willing to take care of him until he becomes an adult. My fiancé does not know about my son and I am afraid that he will leave me once he finds out about this. What do I do?
You need to come clean and tell your fiancé the truth. Men hate taking care of another man’s child. You are lucky you have a mum who loves and takes care of your son like hers.
(Pastor Ben Shikuku)
Relax and ask God for wisdom to disclose this to him. Find the best time to tell him the truth. Do not act desperate when telling him and be ready for any eventuality. Many men don’t mind raising a child who is not their own. Have a winning spirit.
(Ouma Ragumo – Sifuyo)
The only option you have is to tell him the truth. Remember a marriage can never be founded on lies. He will definitely come to discover it and it will be terrible. Tell him and if he is uncomfortable with it, move on.
Do not fear the truth because it will set you free. Just imagine if he learns of the truth from another source; the repercussions will be disastrous.
(Mobera Geofrey- Nairobi)
It is in the best interest of your son that you tell your fiancé the truth. This will save all of you a lot of trouble.
You should tell your fiancé the bitter truth when he is in a good mood. When he gets wind of this from another source, it will be chaos.
You should have come clean on your first contact with your husband. What if he, too, has a child out of wedlock? What will be your reaction? Find a way to talk to him. Be positive and remember the truth will set you free.
(Onyango Outha Jauduny)
You cannot hide the truth forever. Tell this guy about your son. If he loves you and is willing to settle down with you, it will not be a problem.
(Oyoo Wycklife, Annex)
Bernice, keeping such an open secret from a man will only make it harder for you to deal with it when the truth comes out. It is in your best interest to bring this matter to light as soon as possible.
If he truly loves you, this should not be a big problem.
If he chooses to leave then his love for you was not genuine. However, you have to be genuine with him and come clean as the truth will come out sooner or later.
Last, it is not your mother’s responsibility to take care of your child.
They may be close and everything but your son is your responsibility and this means with or without a man, you must take care of him.
In future, you should let a man know about your son early in a relationship so that you give him a chance to make an informed decision.
If a man loves you, he ought to take you with your baggage.