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How do we reconnect as a couple?

 How do we reconnect as a couple (Photo: iStock)

Chris Hart

Hi Chris,

Life is tough at the moment. We are both working long hours and hardly ever get to talk. Our evenings and weekends are dominated by the children, shopping and chores! 

How can we ever get to talk?

Talk More

Chris says,

Hi, Talk More!

Send messages! Everything from simple stuff like arranging the shopping or agreeing who’s going to a school function, to organising your sex life!

That does not sound romantic, but there are lots of couples getting on well in ‘messaging relationships.’ It is often the only way to talk in a dual-income household, and without messages, you probably wouldn’t keep in touch at all!

And do not laugh, but messaging rows can be far more effective than shouting at one another. Because you have time to think through what you are saying and come up with really great put-downs.

Some couples even have silent fights while they are in the same room with the children! And messaging has to be the world’s best way to chat with your spouse.

All those great smileys and abbreviations. Like you want sex? An erotic message heightens the senses in ways you would not think possible. So send one in the afternoon to raise the temperature. Don’t be coy. Use four-letter words and say exactly what you want that night.

You will need a lover’s language in case someone is looking over your shoulder. ‘How about some exercise tonight’ can lift your mood when it is your secret code for: “I am feeling horny!’ Just make sure you are not too tired later.

Of course, you have got to make sure that this is not the only way you talk to one another. But sending a message of love works. It is perfect for getting a couple with too many demands on their time into sync with one another.

And where do working couples get to talk the most? Not restaurants, surprisingly, but car journeys! They seem to be the only place left where a couple can discuss their relationship without too many distractions. Except that is for the children in the back screaming “Are we there yet…?”

All the best,


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