A bunch of us girls were chatting the other day about how hard it is to find a good man. Someone said that it used to be that there was always someone for everyone.
But nowadays there doesn’t seem to be enough good men to go around. Is that really true?
Where Have They Gone?
Hi, Where Have They Gone?!
There are many times when there are too few men, like just after a war. And when things are like that, everyone’s behaviour changes.
Women dress more seductively, become more sexually available, and ‘steal’ men from other women. Or share one, either as a mistress or second wife. While that’s tough for women, the most successful men can afford to relax. So they become unwilling to commit or shoulder their responsibilities. After all, why should they, when there’s always another girl around the corner?
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And it’s true that good men are in short supply right now in Kenya, especially in the cities. Why’s that? Well, some are in prison, some are sick, and some have died young.
But by far the single biggest unavailable group are the unemployed. Huge men have very little income and are effectively removed from the marriage market. After all, why would any woman want a broke bloke around the house?
So when fewer men have well-paying work, women remain alone longer, there are more single mothers, and women pursue higher qualifications and chase after high-paying careers.
But that creates another set of problems. Because a college-educated woman with a good job only wants to marry a man who’s her equal. Which means she’ll inevitably face a lot of competition. Meanwhile, men with good jobs know they’re a hot commodity. So it’s harder to persuade boyfriends to be monogamous. When men are in demand, trying to keep them exclusive is tough.
Kenya’s high male unemployment has put women in a bind. And encouraged successful men to behave badly. So what’s the answer to all this? Build a better economy. So more men have a decent income.
All the best,