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Home / Relationships

How to tap into your sensuality

 Sensuality increases our enjoyment in a lot of experiences (Shutterstock)

Do you sometimes feel like life is running by too fast and becoming too drab? Are you often anxious, exhausted, or bored seemingly for no reason at all?

Has the colour drained from your relationship and you and your partner are just pushing through the motions?

Is sex beginning to lose its allure for you, and turning into a chore that must be gotten over with rather than something pleasurable to look forward to?

If you have answered yes to some of these questions, then perhaps you need to start taking more care of your sensual self.

Sensuality involves the ability to immerse yourself in activities that indulge your senses—touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing.

Being sensual is empowering. A sensual woman is a diva, a goddess. She fully embraces her feminine essence in a magnificent and mesmerising manner.

She sparkles and radiates blissfulness and splendour to all around her. Creativity, passion, and joy seem to effortlessly flow through her.

Power of sensuality

Mastering sensuality will equip you with the tools to nurture, love and develop your inner soul and spirit. Paying attention to the sounds that we hear, how our food tastes, how nature smells, how beautiful the day is and so on helps us practice our mindfulness and be more deliberate with the way we lead our lives.

With sensuality, you allow yourself to slow down and soak in all pleasure from your surroundings. If you are spiritual, being more focused will make you develop a deeper oneness and connection to a higher being. This is the gateway to peace.

Anything that is capable of arousing your senses and making you feel physically good can be sensual. These can include delicious food, awesome clothes, looking into the ocean, watching the sunrise, petting the dog, or hugging

When it comes to physical healing, several studies have demonstrated that one’s immune system becomes stronger when they indulge their senses and remain relaxed, peaceful, and calm.

In 1993, for instance, doctors at Uppsala University Hospital divided heart patients into two groups. One group would be confined in a room with drab walls while the other would be provided with views of trees and water features and encouraged to be present and take it all in.

It was then discovered that the group that had been encouraged to be sensual healed faster, was less anxious and needed fewer doses of pain medication. Sensuality is healing!

 Perhaps you need to start taking more care of your sensual self (Shutterstock)

Sensuality, evidently, increases our enjoyment in a lot of experiences. It helps invigorate our sex lives, heightens our awareness to pleasure, gives us peace makes us more mindful and spiritual and even heals our bodies. So, how does one go about embracing and mastering sensuality?

Step 1: Master self-love

The first step to sensuality is mastering self-love, especially loving your body and feeling comfortable in your own skin. Before you start appreciating the world around you and take pleasure in it, you first have to learn how to be happy with how you look and who you are.

This does not mean, however, that you can only appreciate your body if you look like a supermodel. Rather, you have to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem such that stuff like getting naked in front of your partner and wearing a bikini to the swimming does not fill you with dread.

It might take some time to learn how to be happy with how you look. This will be something you will have to work on day by day by learning how to release self-criticism. Pay little attention to your flaws and instead focus on your loveliness.

No matter your size, shape or skin colour, realise that your body is a precious and beautiful gift. Take time out of your day to shower yourself with words of praise and affection.

Step 2: Slow down and smell the roses

A reason you might find it difficult to be sensual is because you do not allow yourself to just slow down and smell the roses.

If you are the kind of person that is always in a hurry and does not spare a moment to breathe, you might find that calm and serenity constantly eludes you. If you are not careful, you will likely discover when it is too late that life has zoomed past you in a flash.

To slow down, you should deliberately slot into your time activities whose sole purpose is to make you relax. Decide to wake up early and watch the sunset or go for a run through Karura Forest, for instance.

Give yourself time to acknowledge your surroundings. Leaving for work or school half an hour early, for instance, will give you the space to slow down and take in the world around you.

Even a habit as simple as slowing down in the shower can have dramatic effects upon your psyche. Showering does not have to be a race. Soak yourself into the bathtub if you can.

Take time to lather your body and just enjoy the sensation as the running water makes you clean. Nobody’s listening, so sing your favourite tunes to yourself without feeling self-conscious.

Step 3: Limit your use of technology

Limiting your use of technology, and social media in particular, will go a long way in helping your senses get attuned to your environment.

If you are waiting for a friend at a café, why not take the time to revel in the smell of fresh coffee and watch the patrons instead of spending all that time scrolling mindlessly through Instagram? Instead of retweeting that, why not notice the weather and the beautiful scenery outside your window? Listening to the hustle and bustle of the city can even be more fulfilling than rushing to watch that video your favourite influencer uploaded five seconds ago.

Step 4: Pamper yourself

You should also consider pampering yourself and doing things that excite you without feeling guilty about it. This could mean taking yourself to the spa, making time for a manicure and pedicure or even doing some waxing at a parlour.

Wear nice fabrics like silk and get that expensive blanket that gives you a hug all night. Buy nicely scented lotion and enjoy lathering it all over your body.

Pampering yourself could also mean having sex more frequently, going to that dream vacation, taking that yoga class, or embracing gardening. Just listen to your senses and do what makes you feel happy and fulfilled.

Step 5: Listen and dance to music

When it comes to attuning to our inner selves, the power of music and dance cannot be understated. Music awakens your senses and dance springs your body to life.

Try putting on some music at home and just lose yourself to the beat. Dancing will help your body find its rhythm and help you feel more comfortable. It nourishes you and can be a powerful bonding exercise between you and your partner.

Consider joining a nearby dancing class and immerse yourself in rhumba, salsa, kizomba, ballet or whatever genre suits you the most.

Step 6: Enjoy your relationship

As we have seen, being sensual is not all about what happens between the sheets. However, practicing sensuality with our lovers can help us reinvigorate our relationships and derive more pleasure in the bedroom. You will be surprised at just how much more enjoyable your relationship becomes when you combine all of your senses with all of theirs.

It is not just about taking all your clothes off. Take time to hold hands more and just enjoy how nice it feels being in each other’s arms. Hold their hand while watching TV at home or while walking about town. You will be surprised how much this simple act of holding hands more frequently can deepen your connection.

At some point in a relationship, acts of endearment such as kissing and hugging can become perfunctory. Try to kiss and hug each other for at least 10 seconds in order to enjoy the sensation of giving yourselves to each other. Make a mental note to enjoy and revel in this.

Do you ever take time to look at your significant other? Not just a glance, but looking at them with intention. Do you let your eyes lock into each other sometimes, and just lose yourselves in each other’s beauty? Try it and see the difference!

Step 7: Rediscover sensual touch

A sure way to take your relationship to a new sensual level is to introduce massage sessions between you and your partner.

You can take turns to give each other massages that focus on your back, arms, shoulders, feet and other parts of the body.

Buy special massage oil or simply rub lotions on your bodies during the process and let yourselves enjoy the accompanying sensations. There are plenty of tutorials online that will teach you advanced massage techniques such as how to give tantric or even erotic massages!

Spending more time together in the bedroom can go a long way in helping you merge sensuality to your sexuality. It does not necessarily mean that the act of making love itself should take longer.

Rather, you can also invest more time in being thoughtful of all that takes place on the bed. Snuggling and cuddling, for instance, will awaken your sensory experiences even in instances when it does not lead to more.

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