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Home / Relationships

How to stop your own insecurities from ruining your relationship

 No good can come from a relationship without solving the bad first (Image: Shutterstock)

Relationships are fun and interesting but not without the twisted turns of insecurities, emotional burden and heartache. It all comes as a package; you can’t have the good without first overcoming the bad.

While most of us spend a good chunk of our time trying to find fault in our partners, sometimes we may be the problem without realizing it.

We will spend days, even weeks fighting our partners over issues that shouldn’t be arising in the first place. We project our insecurities to our partners which can make a relationship quite shaky.

Are you having unnecessary fights with your partner and can’t understand why? Here is how you can stop your own insecurities from ruining your relationship:

  • Find the root cause of your insecurities

You probably think everyone you date is out to hurt you because you haven’t healed from your past. You probably had a hard time growing up or been hurt one too many times with past lovers and now you project your pain to anyone who gets too close. You could be obliviously ruining your relationship with your past issues coming between you two.  

  • Build your self-esteem

Learn to love and appreciate yourself more. Understand that with or without your partner you are still enough and that nothing can change that. Once you learn to love and appreciate yourself, then you will learn to love others the way they deserve. Your relationship can only be as strong as you are emotionally.

 Not everyone is out to hurt you (Image: Shutterstock)
  • Stop overthinking

Keep the negative thoughts away as much as you can. If your partner is not answering their phone or replying messages, instead of assuming the worst, think maybe they are busy with work or stressed about something. Not everything is about you and not everyone is out to hurt you, before making any conclusions give your partner a chance to explain and be understanding.

  • Give them space

Your insecurities may be on full display because you are too needy. Communication may be the basis of a good relationship, but should never be a reason to suffocate your partner. Let them breath once in a while, go shopping with the girls as he relaxes with the boys over the weekend. Find things to occupy your time and keep the negative thoughts at bay when your partner is not giving you attention.

 Talk to a therapist to help you navigate your emotions (Image: Shutterstock)
  • Talk about your feelings

You should probably talk to your partner and let them know how you feel. If that’s too much for you maybe you could open up to your friend or a therapist. Let them help you navigate your feelings and hold you accountable. Your emotional issues may not be as serious as you think, all it may take is a simple conversation to hack it all.

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