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Ways you can handle your desires when single

Girl Talk
 If you are single, you will need to learn how to handle your desires (Shutterstock)

Being single is not easy especially when your friends go on and on about how awesome their previous night was as you sit and sip your juice.

Before you start feeling shy and uncomfortable, having urges is quite normal and nothing to feel bad about.

Since it is a common thing, if you are single, you will need to learn how to handle your desires. And these desires are not gender based, it goes without saying that we have all experienced it.

For women, these desires can be strongest during ovulation and after a period. Being single and experiencing these desires is tough, to say the least. That said, here is how you can cope if you are single.

i.Accept that it is perfectly normal

First and foremost, you shouldn’t feel bad about having these desires as they are perfectly normal. I know you are wondering where they have come from considering you literally have nobody tuning you. Well, they are quite natural and your hormones or mind can be the cause. Don’t feel ashamed but accept that it is part of life and everyone has these desires.

ii.You don’t necessarily have to heed to these desires

Your mind is stronger than your desires. I know sometimes you just want someone to give you a 365 days experience but well you are single, aren’t you? You can distract yourself from thinking about things that turn you on by focusing on other things. If you must, go out and get some ice-cream or grocery shopping.

iii.Pleasure yourself

Controversial as it may be, you can opt to go this way. Find safe ways to pleasure yourself if the urge is too strong for you to handle. But don’t make this a habit as it can get very addictive and have an effect on sex life.

iv.Look for a friend with benefits (FWB)

Well, friends with benefits are known to come through whenever we need to meet our desires. This might not be for everyone but if you can have one partner without feelings attached then why not? Just make sure that it’s safe and the arrangement is consensual.

v.Seek therapy

If it’s too severe and it’s affecting many aspects of your life, seek therapy. Sometimes sexual desires can be overpowering in that you are not able to control them.

If it starts affecting your work or social life it’s time to see a professional as you also risk having it affect your future relationships. Feel no shame about this as it’s very normal and seeking professional help is a great way to deal with this.


All in all, you need to learn how to control these desires. Avoid things like watching adult movies, reading erotic books or anything that might trigger the desires.

For most people this is easy but not for all. If you feel your desires building up, instead of focusing on the feeling, you can distract your mind with something else like watching TV, reading or going for a walk or run.

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