Helping baby develop social skills

A sociable child is a darling of many. She also has greater self-confidence and enjoys a more fulfilling life. There are, of course, children who deliberately choose to be solitary, and they appear to be content. But in most instances, an isolated child is an unhappy individual.

Despite having inherent tendencies towards social involvement, your child still needs to learn ‘social’ skills such as ability to communicate her feelings accurately.

 A child who learns to say, ‘it’s me next’ will be more socially acceptable than a child who simply grabs a toy without any explanation.

Even a two-year-old can be encouraged to do this. Another important social skill is knowing what to say in the first few moments when meeting someone for the first time.

Teach your child what to say and do in such new environments. For instance, if she is at a friend’s party, she could mingle by sharing her toys.

Encourage her to think about the way she behaves towards other children and about the gestures she uses. Some gestures are aggressive such as shouting, scowling, clenching fists and swearing, while others are pacifying such as smiling, showing approval, holding out a hand. Children who mix well are usually those who use more pacifying gestures than aggressive ones.

The three most important social skills that will help your child get on with others of her own age are the abilities to share, to take turns, and to follow rules.

Share her toys

A child who does not have these skills will have social difficulties. Explain to your child why they are important, for instance, because others will like her, and give her plenty of opportunities to practice them at home.

Teach her the importance of sharing sweets with her friend, waiting her turn to have a glass of lemonade and playing games with rules.

A good level of hygiene is also necessary. Life is unfair, and although it is not your child’s fault if she has dirty clothes or is unwashed (this is your responsibility), this gives her an uphill struggle when it comes to mixing with others. Encourage her to take an interest in her appearance, in her clothes, and in her personal cleanliness. Good eating habits also help.

Your child’s social development in the early years occurs in stages:

For instance, at three months, she will have already shown her first smile (usually around six weeks), and she clearly enjoys the company of familiar people. She will probably watch you closely as you move around the room.

And by two and a half years, she likes being with other children, although she won’t actually play with them yet.

She is still cautious about sharing her toys, and isn’t ready yet for cooperative play. By five years, she will have developed social competence and will be able to join the company of others of her own age, with ease. Of course, she may be shy and withdrawn, but she can cope without adult supervision.

Photo: living.msn.com