Girl code: This is how we will fix love in this nation

I was raised with the notion that only men can approach women they like for a relationship. With this in mind, I believe most of my relationships end even before they start because I wait for men to approach me.

You know what women? The census results were released the other day and the numbers are clear. If you don’t make the first step, chances are, the other person may never make that step either. That’s one more relationship that will never see the light of day.

Many times during my first years in college, when I spotted someone I liked, I would go to so much trouble to try and get his attention, hoping that he would ask me out.

Once during my second year, I attended a training meant for engineering students because my crush was part of the training.

You should have seen me blankly staring at the trainer with my eyes wide open. I would even nod at intervals to give the impression that I was learning a lot.

And every time a student asked a question, I would turn and look at them. And then I would nod my head vigorously as if to tell the trainer the student had asked a good question and I too was seeking further clarification. All because the man my heart loved was in that room.

The saddest bit is that he never even appreciated my efforts. In fact, he didn’t even come to find out why I had attended the training when I clearly, wasn’t one of them.

This same man made me visit a drinking den on the darkest and most unsafe back street of Nairobi.

You see, I happened to find out from his friend that he was in the CBD. So I took a matatu all the way from Ongata Rongai to the CBD. My plan was, once I get to the CBD, I would call him and pretend that I was asking for directions to a place; once he told me that he was equally in town, I would pretend that I was next to wherever he was and request to personally go to him for the directions.

This man used to drink very cheap liquor -- the type that makes someone forget who they are. I can never forget how he once came back to college drunk and started pulling at the electric fence because he wanted to remove it and use it to protect his hostel room! Still, my heart refused to stop loving him. He was lucky the electric fence wasn’t live!

Anyway, I got to the CBD, called him and headed where he was, somewhere behind River Road. Don’t ask me how I walked from Railways bus station to River Road to go and ask for directions to Afya Centre yet I had no business in Afya Centre. All I wanted was to shake this man’s hand and make him realise that together, we could be someone's parents!

This is just one man who made me lose my mind in vain. Somehow, the feeling always fades after you realise that you are heading nowhere with your theatrics.

I am, however, glad that as the years have passed by, things are changing and ladies can now put themselves together and ask a man out. I am yet to get there though. I still belong to that group that will go to a shop 79 times to ask for something that I am sure isn’t there all because my crush is basking next to the shop.

I once approached a shopkeeper and asked if he was selling the whole shop. I still wonder what I would have told him had he agreed to sell me the shop.

Is it too early to start laying down my New Year’s resolutions? Because one of them is to approach anyone who will make my heart tick. I will approach you, ask for your number and ask to take you out on a date.

There’s no way I will be ageing here gracefully and watching tall, dark and handsome men walk past me with no rings on their fingers. I am officially placing a road block for these men. Stop and check before you proceed. We are fixing this nation!

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