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Girl code: Stay away if your first name is ‘Serious’

Readers Lounge By Beryl Wanga Itindi

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Today I want to speak about those husbands who take everything too seriously, even their own families -- those who cannot even laugh at their own children’s jokes!

I remember how my father would laugh at my jokes even when it was flatter than a runway, just to give me some hope in life. There are men who have made marriage so strict that they end up transforming their once bubbly wives into humans with an inferiority complex.

Someone once said if you are an extrovert, get married to an introvert and vice versa, to bring some balance into the house. This is mostly the case if the wife is the introvert. It is easier to transform an introverted woman into an extrovert than to transform an introverted man into an extrovert. Woe unto you if you are extroverted and you fall in love with an introverted man. These men have a way of making you feel like you are going overboard even when you aren’t.

I have a friend who got married seven years ago. She was quite bubbly but she has now turned to those women who quickly rise and almost salute when their spouses cough. There are those men who will give you a warning look if you walk into the house dancing yet it is your house. I mean, if I cannot dance in my own house, then why is it even my house in the first place?

These same men will look at you suspiciously if you call them ‘honey’ because they think it’s a trap. I mean, if I wanted to trap you, I will, even without calling you ‘honey’. After all, you are my husband. Don’t expect me to suddenly refer to you by your name while it was all ‘honey and sweety’ when we got married. Things cannot just move from ‘Babe’ to ‘Sospeter’ because you are an introvert.

If you are an introvert, once you decide to get married and have a family, start teaching yourself how to live with everyone whether introverts, extroverts or ambiverts. Take the cue from women who adapt to all three very fast. Imagine an introverted woman giving birth to an extroverted child. Believe it or not, as a mother, she will always find a way to fit into her child’s happiness. That’s why you will find an introvert mother participating in parents’ activities in school on sports days without fear. You will find the same mother coiled in a corner during a teambuilding at work.

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So these men who think they are too serious to play should change their ways and accommodate their playful wives. Some husbands are so serious at home, their wives are too afraid to approach them to settle a household bill.

Take my friend who shrunk into herself after marriage. She cannot even participate in decision-making in her own house because she is afraid of the husband. Her husband gives her just one silent look that summarises thirteen paragraphs. She is better off holding pee in their own car than just asking her husband to stop over somewhere so she can visit the washroom.

Such men can really derail progress of an extroverted child. Whenever they are approached with questions by their children, instead of just answering them they will send the children to their mothers. You would think the world would come to an end if they answered.

I wouldn’t survive getting married to a man whose first name is ‘Serious’. I want a man I can pull pranks on in the house and he can take a joke. I want one who I can run to and jump on without him telling me that I am being childish. I need that one man whom I can call and just start laughing and he will laugh back instead of starting to explain to me how bad our economy is yet I am wasting airtime laughing at nothing!

I know that man exists and I know he will marry me. All I know is that no one is going to manipulate me into behaving like a robot. I refuse!

[email protected]

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