Bad boy: Why women don’t bring their men gifts when they travel

When you travel out of the country, or even within, you must always bring something for wife and kids. If within the country, you always stop along the road to pick foodstuffs, which Caroline rarely appreciates. You once asked her why she doesn’t appreciate even the thought. Her reply?

“That is your job!”

When you are out of the country, you are always looking for a good perfume, a good t-shirt or blouse bought at any famous store in the country you are visiting, an electronic gadget, anything. And you must also carry something for the children. Mostly, clothes, and shoes.

Whenever you come back, she comes for you at the door and as soon as she takes your bag, she starts the conversation with the most feminine lines of all feminine lines: “Umeniletea nini?” (What did you bring me?)

Or if she wants to be more thoughtful, “Umetuletea nini?”(What have you brought us?”)

She is always happy as a kid when she stumbles upon that perfume that smells like heaven. She is always flattered when I get her clothes that are the right size. She goes madly happy if I buy Farah the best dress or sneakers. She is super proud when I get little Roy the best denim shorts. That night, she hugs you and becomes super cooperative. It makes you appreciate your role as a husband.

Not so when it is her turn. You can remember all the three gifts she has ever brought you: A Nelson DeMille novel (because you had asked for it), a Kindle Reader (which she bought as afterthought while visiting a Barnes & Noble to buy her book), and the odd time she brought a cologne (which she did because she had gone to buy her perfumes.)

Other than that, Caroline, who travels with the frequency of an air hostess, rarely brings you anything. She never forgets the kids though.

So, when she arrived home early in the week, you had to go get her from the airport. You wanted to ask her, “umeniletea nini?” but you thought twice about it and decided that would have been a sissy thing to say. You expected that when you got home, she will fish something fancy and hand it to you, but wapi?

Yet, she now has a great job, earns well, and can afford more, unlike in the past. So, you conclude that women are super-selfish and like receiving more than giving. A spot-check with your married friends confirms as much. None of their spouses has ever bought them even a cheap shirt.

What is the point of women going to school and adapting feminine notions of Western women (mostly the worst aspects) without embracing the good side? In the entire history of Kenya, only one woman has ever bought a man a gift as big as a car.

Yet, every year, hundreds of men buy their wives so many and expensive gifts. Women should do better.

@nyanchwani

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