Evewoman : Seven things not to ask on the first date


Seven things not to ask on the first date

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While you may not enjoy being single, dating is one of the most eye opening experiences you will go through as you go through this life.

Going on dates can either turn out to be one of the best experiences or one of the worst. Most of us have been on one or two dates in our lifetime that have been great while others, well, nothing to write home about.

Sometimes, your nerves can get the best of you as you think of what to say, what to wear, where to go or even what to talk about during a first date with someone. If you are not careful, you might end up scaring off someone you are interested in, by asking questions which they would rather not answer right away.

To kick disastrous first dates to the curb, use this simple guide of questions not to ask on the first date.

1. How much do you earn?

The world today teaches us to be blunt and direct when it comes to dealing with people. We are told that the best thing to do is not beat about the bush and approach things directly. This, unfortunately can end up backfiring. Honesty as they claim is not always the best policy. On the first date, people would rather not discuss their earnings with someone they barely know. Such information is private and can easily put off your date.

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2. Are you dating other people?

When you are on a first date, the intention is to get to know each other through light topics such as what you enjoy doing or even what you do for a living. At this point, you are both either just friends, acquaintances or interested in each other. Since you are not officially dating yet, such questions may be too invasive. You can politely let them know your intentions and save the details for later.

3. Why did your ex dump you?

This is definitely a no no. When someone you are meeting for the first time confides in you about their past, avoid insensitively approaching the topic. If the date is going fairly well and a conversation about exes come up, treat the topic with uttermost care. Be polite about it and gauge how comfortable they feel talking about it. If they feel like they can open up to you, they will let you know.

4. What tribe are you?

In this day and age, it is probably best to avoid asking this question on a first date. Asking this question may come off as ignorant, even shallow, making your date disinterested. As the nation focuses on being together and breaking down tribalism, beware of some of the things that people find offensive. It is also a good idea to stay off tribal jokes based on stereotypes.

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5. Do you always eat this much?

You should definitely avoid making comments, jokes or asking questions concerning weight and food. For someone to show up for a date with you, it means they are putting themselves in a vulnerable position to be accepted rather than being judged. When you ask questions like, ‘do you normally eat this much?’ the other person might automatically feel judged and self-conscious.

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6. Aren’t you too beautiful/handsome to be single?

First of all, what does this even mean? This isn’t a question that can possibly be answered. This is one of the most offensive questions to ask that may imply that something is wrong with them. While it sounds rosy on the surface, asking this will automatically sound like you are already digging into their character. Be polite by avoiding this question.

7. Where do you see this relationship going?

Asking this question on the first date screams of desperation. At this point, you have just met and you barely know each other. This is not enough time for them to gauge whether they want to date you or not. A first date is meant to be fun and casual for the sake of getting to know each other rather than planning where you will be five years from now. You should also give yourself time to get to know them and be sure that you’d be interested in them romantically.

Remember that the impression you make on the first date has the power to change how people perceive you. Be sensitive and avoid these questions.

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