Five signs you are in an ‘almost relationship’

Are you spending a lot of time together but you are not yet exclusive? Well, face it, you are in an ‘almost relationship’. You are not aware why you have not made things official but yet it is just not happening. When you find yourself holding on to hope, anticipating that he may actually become your boyfriend, you might need to kill the dream as it is likely to be in vain. As confusing and hurtful as it is, ‘almost relationships’ happen when two people go down the feelings and emotions lane without actually verifying and discussing their situation.

Are you two exclusive? Does he care if you invite him to family and social events? Does he find it weird when you just call to talk? These are some of the questions that will help you notice and mark the blurry lines and gray areas in your situationship and help you figure out that your ‘relationship’ is going nowhere.

While every relationship is different, here are some of the tell-tale signs that you are stuck in an ‘almost relationship’.

Overthinking texts

You feel obligated to prove how witty you are or you are paranoid that what you will say will scare him away – that should not be the case. This is supposed to be someone you are comfortable with, why think about putting emojis or not when texting him? You need to remind yourself that a healthy relationship implies that texting him should comfort you and not consume you.

Feeling sorry for opening up

When you feel sorry for venting and opening up about stressful aspects of yourself to him, you need to find a common ground with yourself. You need to find out why you do not feel comfortable sharing who you really are with him and why it upsets you. Finding out the reasons, be it the relationship or because you are a private person, will help you have clarity in the situation and guidance on what you need to do moving forward.

Blurry boundaries

In every relationship there are boundaries and levels of commitment. With an ‘almost relationship’, you are never sure if commitment exists. Can you flirt with that cute colleague? Is it right that I’m still swiping right on Tinder? These are very simple questions that will highlight just how white or black your relationship is. In the long run, it is boundaries that shape relationships. You have a right to know where you stand in your relationship. Ask.

Meaningful conversations are farfetched

Apart from having memorized his zodiac sign, you are clueless when it comes to knowing anything deeper than his favourite snack. You can tell you are in an ‘almost relationship’ when you find out that all you know about your partner has more to do with the details of his day and not things that actually mater in his life. You should also not struggle to have those meaningful conversations with him. Key to any successful relationship is being able to communicate, do you have that?

Feeling it’s too late to ask “what are we?”

Never ignore your gut feeling. There are various reasons for not wanting to mention the “what are we?” question during your conversations. One, it could be that it is too early in the relationship. If this is not the reason you have, you owe yourself more. When you do not want to mention it because it is too late and you know bringing it up will only complicate things and result in a complete disaster, you are likely forcing him to be the right person.

You owe yourself more than a relationship that you are scared to define. You need not hold back from asking difficult questions. If your partner wants a future with you, he will sure be willing to work towards one.