If you’re in a long-distance relationship (LDR), my condolences to you.
What you're about to read should you be in one, will not be a happy read but someone has to be the bearer of sad news.
Most of us are afraid of saying what needs to be said. Truth is, long distance relationships don’t work because they are not real relationships. They can be passionate, intense and loving but they can’t be battle-tested.
With that said, there is no saying there is no exception to the rule. Of course, depending on circumstances, some LDR work.
Those that don’t, below are some reasons why.
As humans we need the physical touch that comes with being in a relationship. Hugging, kissing, holding hands and sex are crucial in every relationship especially if one or both your love languages have to do with physical touch. The lack thereof creates disconnect and can lead to temptations.
Being apart has a way of creating these weird thoughts about what the other person is doing, with who, where etc and this can drive one crazy with envy and fear of missing out. And in this day and age of social media, a photo of your better half having a good time with members of the opposite sex can create doubt and drive out any hopes of a relationship.
Words are nothing without action and with the distance between you two, any and almost all action is impossible. Out of loneliness and no physical connection, any attention from a member of the opposite sex will see your vulnerable self-give in.
With time, communication will begin to fade away because it’s not always about texting and calling but you need to see someone physically. Forget about skype and video calls, those too become boring and monotonous. You cannot live in a virtual world forever and this can lead to communication breakdown. This is heightened when you live in different time zones and each person is busy.
The more you spend time apart from each other the more your trust weakens. Considering you don’t get to see each other, the bond you yearn for will be satisfied by those who are close by. Should you start getting close to a member of the opposite sex, you will start wondering whether your partner is doing the same and this will kill you.
It’s great at first and you maintain a positive outlook, thinking you’ll be able to get through all the challenges. And most of the time, you actually are able to make it out of the challenges together. But what doesn’t kill you doesn’t make you stronger it in fact wears you out. Before you know it, you grow apart. Eventually you tire from skyping, calling during different time zones and of the routine ‘I miss your after every conversation.
Putting trust on someone you don’t see often or ever is a high risk. Patience is good, but when you’re waiting for nothing, what’s the point? There is no guarantee you two will be together and this leads to thoughts of doubt. If there is no time table for reuniting with your significant other, that's a problem. If you don't have a date to look forward to, your will to work through rough spots will diminish. Patience takes time and you only have so much time to wait for someone the rest of your life.