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Letting go of someone you love is hard. Leave alone making the decision to do it which is more difficult than the actual breakup itself.
This unless your partner did something unforgivable like sleep with a family member or close friend such an egregious act makes it easy to pull the plug. But what about the other not so ‘serious’ problems? This may make it easy to delay a breakup considering your iffy feelings and emotions.
But the fact that the idea sprung up into your mind in the first place, it should be worth looking into. Don’t pass off that decision by using any of these excuses to hold on. ESTHER MUCHENE
- It’s not the right time
If you haven’t figured it out by now, there is no right time for a breakup. If a special day say a birthday, valentine’s day or an anniversary is coming up, you may find it hard to drop the news because you’re worried about how a split might affect them or you want to partake in the celebration, it’s actually kinder to just get it over with.
- You look good together
Keeping up appearances will take a toll on you emotionally and psychologically. Just because you look good together and look like a perfect couple to the outside world is no reason to stay especially if you are unhappy, unfulfilled and your needs are not being met.
- The sex is amazing
‘’All good relationships begin with good chemistry! Says Esme Oliver, Dating Expert and Author of Smoke Drink F*#k. Just because he or she blows your mind in the sheets is not an excuse to stay in a dysfunctional relationship. Not only are you wasting your time but missing out on true intimacy and love.
- You are staying because of the children
This has to be one of the most used excuses for delaying a breakup out there. It is normal to worry how a separation or divorce can affect your children but if handled with care the outcome may be surprising. Your children need a nurturing, loving and healthy environment which if it is missing should be a sign you need to call it quits. A cold or hostile environment filled with resentment and agitation does not create a safe space for children to live in or provide a role model to base their future relationships on. So take the cue and do the necessary.
- He treats you better than your ex
According to Best Life, if you’ve had a bad relationship in the past and you’re reason for staying in your current one is that it’s not as bad, that’s a big red flag. Comparing your relationship to the worst one you have ever had is a low bar to set says Jim Seibold, a Marriage and Family Therapist. Instead of accepting less, “Aim high,” Seibold recommends. “If someone doesn’t treat you with dignity, respect, and honesty, keep looking.”
- You’re worried you won’t do better
Getting back to the dating scene may sound like a nightmare and settling with your partner doesn’t sound so bad. After being with someone for so long, we not only fear being alone, but we also fear that we aren’t good enough for anyone else, explains April Davis a relationship expert, life coach, and CEO of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking.
- You’re afraid what people will say
People love to talk about breakups and that makes it very hard to deal with especially after a long marriage or relationship. But that’s not something you should let stop you from being truly happy. Soon they will be distracted by some other drama and your breakup will be history.
- You’re hoping he or she will change
People don’t just change because you want them to. It has to come from within and that too can be an uphill battle. Some habits and traits which you hate may be ingrained in them and the longer you continue staying in that relationship the more resentful you become because they will continue to let you down.
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